Mirage Of A Dream

January 24

2012-01-28T08:03:00.000-08:00

Today we had Spelling Quiz Bee.
Just went through five or six questions then got kicked out of the game, easy round.
Curse that 'b' word. I forgot what it was.
Then I continued my comic, the one with the glasses girl saving older----or maybe younger? I still can't decide---- twin's ass in his date. It wasn't a date for his significant other. It was a date with different other girls to see what kind of girl he likes best, and what he is currently dating that time wasn't his type, nor will ever be. I updated the one with Filipino dialogues too. Just a panel, though. As I could not think of a way to make older/younger twin and best friend-aside-from-brother look like homosexual couples, but i am telling you that they are not. O/Y twin's just joking around.
Oh, Josea is absent today. I wonder if she will look--or even talk-- to me tomorrow? i dunno.

I pushed though the tutorial and finished the first part with barely understanding about making retopo walls as I was rushing.

That is all that I could remember.

January 23

2012-01-28T07:41:00.000-08:00

Monday, no classes dude :D
So i slacked my butt out. i just enjoyed my time. I could vaguely remember whatever happened today.

We were supposed to do our project in Math but it got postponed, again. Due to team practices. I remember, is Clarence the only one who can't come? If not, is he the only one allowed but can not, then, is he that needed, that practices will always be postponed without him around? ._. Just wondering. And I just realized. But I think almost everyone couldn't come. We're just needing a minimum of three people to work on our model I guess.

So I just did our Math model. I measured out the area, and also making the blueprint digital thanks to the help of my dad for AutoCAD Mechanical. Also thanks to this, I restarted our Dream Home 3D model to make a better one, since what I had was based on an obsolete drawing and measurements. And I am halfway through our model. Slept quite late, enjoying my time in making our 3D model. I have to get this done soon. I still have to do some coding in Unity, and learn some coding too.

That is all.

Happy Chinese New Year, btw :)
Kung Hei Fat Choi!

January 22

2012-01-28T07:19:00.000-08:00

So today is Sunday. No classes tomoroow, yay! Also, only five more days till field trip :D
I am pretty much doing what I can to do our Math project defense. I think.

Sadly I do not remember anymore. I shall update this post, if I ever remember what happened.

January 21

2012-01-21T09:20:00.000-08:00

Aha~ My stomach is sick I guess, from reading Franken Fran... But I keep reading! XD
So the manga is a bit horror because of the gore. I just felt like trying new things and I stumlbed upon this manga thanks to tumblr.
Also I feel like a support for BelxFran there, when Fran was called Fran the Ripper :D
Oh I'll just read Homestuck for a while. I can feel my stomach dying but I want to keep reading. Gore fascinates me...

So, about today. It is PTC (Parents-Teachers Conference) today and I am happy with my grade. I did not expect to have 85 for Filipino, and 81 for Chem. I will do better this quarter and I will make sure that I will be in the toplisters. Also I bought this book with my sister's money: How to draw Monstrous Beasts. It is good, but then for a beginner it is not advisable as it does not fully cover how to draw monstrous creatures from start to finish. It doesn't even say that one should search around for references or inspirations to draw monstrous creatures and to come up with original ones. Oh well, at least there's a kit. It is easy for one to sell things to me, as I seem to have the rule "Give me a kit and I'll buy your crap." This applies mostly for drawing or anything related to art. But maybe in other things too, as it motivates me to do things and makes me know where I should start and that I can start right away.

Then I did our model for the Math defense. After realizing and finally deciding that I cannot use Google SketchUp with Unity for my plan to make our house concept accessible through 3D space, I decided to try doing the house in Blender but then... Augh, the furnitures! I'll try to search around for some. Maybe I should do everything in Blender instead, but I have to learn Python ASAP. For now, I will do the model in Blender and if it works well with Unity, so be it. But if not, Python, here I come.

Also, I HATE SOPA! And any other bill similar to it!

To the U.S. Government,
Don't you dare ban my favorite sites and don't you dare ban any other file sharing site. Let go of megaupload. I do not think you have the power to control the internet. We are not as free in real life as we are in the internet and I wish you will not, and will NEVER take it away from us. Just don't pass the bill. It's useless and pointless. You're just making yourself look like an idiot, a big one. Just don't do it. You'll have the entire world against you. Keep that in mind. And, if you have arms to kill any who defies you, then who will pay for your taxes which are your sources of income? There's only outrage if this bill gets passed. Expect no peace.

Sincerly,
A supporter of the free and open internet

I guess that is for today.
Also, Bukony chewed on my paper stump and my charcoal stick broke into three pieces.
Another thing: the books about art that I downloaded were awesome. I love it. I do not regret downloading such things.

See yah.

January 20

2012-01-20T09:23:00.000-08:00

Also, I have not told you this. It has been days or even weeks ago. Oh Well, Oh Well is my song for him now :/ or maybe Seduction, except for the "Cries escape your sweet voice as i kiss you one last time." Also, can I just reminisce some things I want to remind myself of?

I managed to squeeze his hand again. I thought that time was the last, when we had practice. Well, he let his hand stay upon mine, when he, what, high fived me, I think. And he kind of squeezed it too. A bit.

So reposting what I said in the last post. I searched the internet about squeezing hands, as I do them. But before that some search suggestions pop up, I checked them out. A few of them are and some of my insights:

what does it mean when you dream about someone?
- Oh crap this.. was so true... but I do not wish to admit it to my other self.

what does it mean when your nose itches?
- Oh crap I should stop thinking about him. I suddenly remember his nose always itches, just by his gestures I can tell. Oh God... I guess I really have to. I should start right now. And also start thinking more about Homestuck or KHR.

Then my question:

What does it mean if a girl squeezes your hand?

(Well, actually, I just searched "What does it mean if someone squeezes your hand?")

- The answer was (WikiAnswers): "it means she likes you so dont be a coward and go for it duh"

SO. ABSOLUTELY. TRUE. Spare me from body languages! It is telling everyone else how I feel! But I think it is better.

Also, I am waiting for my Mayday Parade album download now...

So about today: Did mural art after recess. That is all :D Also I skipped dinner again, because I slept and I do not like eating around 11PM. I know my stomach will not want it. It is already supposed to rest, and produce acid for some reason I forgot, but I am certain it is not for food.

So I guess that is all then.

Good night.

January 19

2012-01-20T08:59:00.000-08:00

Sad day for me. Ignored by Josea. Well, not exactly sad, but incomplete.

I know I remembered my dream, but I have forgotten it now.

We had T.L.E. We continued the mural art.

We checked our answers in Chem, for the entire period.

Then recess. I can feel Josea is ignoring me, so I went like "So be it." I know I should have talked to her about it but the I am laid back and I take things for granted, that is unless I want it to change. That is why I am letting her ignore me for the whole day. Heck, I didn't even watch their match in volleyball. I just don't feel like it. And I know she doesn't want to see me. Besides, Angela is there to accompany her. Also, this is not the first time a friend deserted me. I am always deserted. I am not for long term relationships as people tend to desert me, to leave me on my own. Maybe it was my fault, maybe it wasn't. It just... happens.

As I go home from school I thought about things. I thought about friendship crap, and why I do not get "Happy Monthsary" greetings. I don't even know how they came to remember the date when they became friends, or maybe they just choose a day and that's it? I do not know. All I know is, I never had one. And I do not think I will have in the future.

Another is suicide and/or getting into drugs. Hey, I am not saying i might do them... but, who knows? It's what depression do. And no, I will not smoke pot or weed or use cocaine unless they have hallucinatory effects. If I get into drugs, I prefer a drug that gives hallucinatory effects, the one that distorts the way you perceive reality optically. I wish to see hallucinations, not just feel, hear, or think about them. Also, I cannot do myself harm, as I am supporting the TWLOHA movement. But I just can't help it. I can't talk to someone about it. They have resentment when I say what I want to say. It's just that, I say things in a hurtful way. That sometimes, they get angry at me an.. yeah. Also, I hate crying. I really HATE it. It make me feel weak. Yeah, go ahead and tell me it's human to cry but I am telling you: I do not like being human. Then what do I want to be? I do not know myself. Maybe hybrid, half human half something else. I even remembered that one time when I said "May ginagawa yung tao dito oh (A human's doing somthing here)" then the person who was bugging me said "Tao ka ba (are you even human?)?"

>_>

"Baka, balang araw, magugulat na lang sila na nagpakamatay ako o nagda-drugs"

LOL

That is all I guess.

Also, for some reason, internet's doing well in our PC.

[EDIT: I forgot that I have already did a post for Jan. 18, so the following parts are for Jan. 19, for I thought the previous parts were for Jan. 18. But in the end, both are for Jan. 19. I hope you understand.]

Oh fuck can I just skip this? I am reading KHR manga now and it is already late.

So what happened in Thursday.... I do not remember much. Maybe it was just an ordinary day? The usual stuff? Ah, my memories are not neatly placed as they should be, another reason why I should write my posts at the end of each day, not the next day or the day after that.

But I do remember that I forgot to do my homeworks today that I ended up having no assignment for Filipino, which made me feel guilty the next day.

Also I want to buy that book, "Dude." It's P295 and mom doesn't want me to. She said I should finish the ones I bought first. Sigh. I wanted that. It's a bit of a questionnaire book and, I feel like I will know more about myself when I answer those things. So when I have nothing much to do I'll just read and answer it. If only I had money... sigh. Oh well.

Also, I have not told you this. It has been days or even weeks ago. Oh Well, Oh Well is my song for him now :/ or maybe Seduction, except for the "Cries escape your sweet voice as i kiss you one last time." Also, can I just reminisce some things I want to remind myself of?

I managed to squeeze his hand again. I thought that time was the last, when we had practice. Well, he let his hand stay upon mine, when he, what, high fived me, I think. And he kind of squeezed it too. A bit.

Hey, I should end this here. I have to post the next things to my Jan. 20 post. See yah.

Missed, Two.

2012-01-19T02:48:00.000-08:00

January 17 

We had T.L.E. We did our project: wood joints. I made the guidelines.

In Chem, I had proven to myself that the last is the best, Just like what Akamichi Choji said (the last potato chip is the best), and also what my old friend said to me: "The last is the luckiest." Also, today, a idea emerged in my mind. There's a weird inspiration in it: armpit hair. Hey, it's not a comic about armpit hairs. Someone just yawned and stretched then I saw his pit hairs, with my peripheral vision that is. Then there you go, a comic. It's mostly in Filipino language, with very occasional English. I'll try posting it up here some time.

Then came recess. After I ate, I headed for the book fair and bought some books: a set of The Hunger Games book series and The Fire Within. When I paid for it, the prices were different than what I had calculated so I was surprised and nervous, because my money isn't enough. But then it was an error, so I was relieved. The Hunger Games books were mine, and The Fire Within was for a friend of mine, Paul. I bought him the book because he once told me he doesn't read books but yesterday he suddenly told me a book caught his attention. So I thought "Why not? It's just once in a while (actually, I said "minsan lang naman eh"). So yeah, I gave it to him. I am pretty surprised the people who saw me give him a book are surprised, too. It made them go "I rarely read books too... but this book caught my attention..." I can't buy them any for I have no money left. Either way, I have no intention of buying them any, as I only treat those close to me and nice to me, also I only treat once.

Then came Filipino. I went out of the room and sat in the corridor outside with some others who didn't have their homeworks, namely Ashley, Hannah, Clarence, Paul, and Kenneth. We talked a lot outside and pretty much enjoyed our time, but then we were called back inside. We were dismayed, as we enjoyed it outside. Ashley asked me if she could borrow one of the books I bought. She borrowed the second book. I made her promise to take care of it.

Later in the afternoon we painted during P.E. time. Sir said we were excused for the rest of the afternoon to continue painting, but we have to head upstairs for a while for English for a recital for the declamation. I pretty much messed up, forgetting most of my lines. There weren't much of seriousness in my recital, I can tell. I didn't even know why I did that.

Then back downstairs to paint until dismissal. I was told to paint until 5o'clock, but I just stopped painting when I was told to have a break, that was around 4:10PM.

At home I did my homework, then suddenly napped without my full conscience. I don't even remember how I came to sleep. Then when I was told to wake up because it's already dinner, I asked if I could sleep first, as I feel really sleepy. I slpet until 11:08PM. I was surprised I woke up that late. I guess I really was tired. Then I continued my Math home work. Then I read the Chapter 1 of The Hunger Games, then went to sleep.

January 18

I do not remember what happened this day as I forgot to put an outline. I watched. I woke up late, that I have to rush. And the service came when I was just brushing my teeth. This pretty much started my short temper throughout the day. Which made me 'push away' Josea, and will make me regret doing so for she seems angry at me or seems to ignore me. She didn't talk to me in the service or anything. It's just sad for me.

I searched around the 'net for Pro Motion, had success finding it. Installed Visual C++ Express 2010 in my laptop with success. I laid down some notes about the touchscreen mp4 player I had in mind. I also continued my comic. One page down. I'm not sure how long it will. I'll just draw. It kind of revolves around the school life of the characters I made for the slice of life genre, but their minds aren't made for one (which in the story, makes them the weird bunch.).

That's all. Good night :)

EDIT: This was the day when I partially lost my temper.

No matter how I try to wake up I can not. It is very frustrating. That is why I am short of time today, rushing within every minute in the morning hoping the school service would not come around soon but it did while I was brushing my teeth. I am also short on temper.

It is a good thing that I am already done with my homeworks or I'll be angry at myself. So when I had arrived in school, I just relaxed.

Two periods Chem, two hours of torture. It is a good thing we just watched, not the rumored recitation or quiz. That damn Chemistry in Action episodes. Its music hurts mein ears. It's just... Argh. And I do not clearly understand what the man's saying there. I am lucky I was able to hear it a bit clearly today. 

Then recess.

Then Filipino. I drew while I can, also while hopefully not being seen by Ma'am, or just not making me catch her attention. I know things we do in class matters to her, even thought she is not putting her attention to it, like going "hey what are you doing there" or something like that.

Then comes A.P. or Araling Panlipunan (Social Studies). When we were checking, I passed the book I had because I was told to do so or that I have to. But when I passed it, they say it's okay already. Then I was like embarassed and got pissed as I could not catch up. I try to recompose myself for I while, but I am certain I look like someone starting to blow and that I am totally angry. I guess PMSes do happen. Then I went on checking. When I finished checking the answers in the book, I saw another book under it, making me have two books. Fuck this shit. Why the fuck did I not see that. Shit. Shit. Shit. Then I went on checking it, rushed. Then in lunch, Josea did her greeting of hitting me in the head which ended up with me telling her "you know my afternoon isn't good today" and 'struggling' away from her. I did not realize she was hugging me. I am totally angry that I cannot hold it too much and I got it out on her somewhat. I managed to calm myself down during the afternoon without me knowing how. So here comes dismissal. In service Josea went home with me (still school service). I did not realize she is not taling to me or is ignoring me until we changed seats to the front seats. I was wondering why she was silent. She was not talking to me. So when I was near home, I asked her who got in the declamation contest. She did not answer, expected from someone who is listening to music and I making my voice really soft. I am somewhat shy about things like this. When I feel like a person does not want to talk with me I speak really soft. If they did not hear, I will stop. If they went 'what?' or 'ha?' I'll repeat what I said. 

January 16

2012-01-16T06:36:00.001-08:00

It's Monday. Again.
Same old, same old.
I'm too sleepy right now.
So, I didn't know much about the song Welcome to My Life by Simple Plan but sung it 'accidentally' out loud, as it seem to e singing in my head. Then Ashley said "I know that song!" and I was like "Uh.. Yeah, I do too, but.. I don't know. I don't know much of the song but.. Who sung it?" She told me she doesn't know. So I just took a note of it to search for it tonight.
Book fair this week. Answer the trivia right and you get a 20% discount coupon. I didn't get to answer, sadly. I want to buy The Hunger Games book set. Just P995 for three books. Then a friend of mine who doesn't read suddenly told me about a book that caught his interest.So I told myself, why not? The book he wants is just P295. I just hope mom won't be mad about it. And I want to buy Anne Frank's Diary, too. But I am uncertain. I want to buy him a book. A little charity wouldn't hurt, right? I just hope I will be doing the right choice, buying him a book.
Then I searched for the song at home. It was... It seems to be telling my story. I didn't know it's the song of my life, especially the depressive side. The song kind of makes me want to listen to Simple Plan and download their album "Still Not Getting Any." But then, Simple Plan's songs makes me want to cry oAo. So.. yeah. Welcome To My Life almost brought tears to my eyes..

Then I plan on checking out Visual C++ and learning about C++ before I sleep. Nut I want to make it quick. I want to sleep.

That's all.

January 14 - 15

2012-01-16T06:19:00.001-08:00

Missed some days again.
For January 14, I got lazy and forgot, and procrastinate.
For January 15, we went to CNE Bookstore, then SM North, then watched Transformers Dark Side of the Moon at home.

January 14
Well, project making for Math got cancelled, so we just have to do furniture on our own. Speakers for our PC was changed. Then I played a bit of VBA games. Then searched around for Looney Tunes ROMS for VBA. Then stopped searching because internet isn't connecting well, and that I have to prepare for school. Left home in the afternoon and went to school to do the mural art. Tricycle driver misheard me and took me to someplace else, I thought of something different. What a weird mind. Then told him my destination was Global.
Then at home, I started up the computer again while eating pasta. I surfed around for solutions to the WGA thing. I really wanted to get rid of it. I want to see th Omnimo skin for Rainmeter in its full power. I can't use it well for the black background keeps the 'faded' effect to show.
Then getting pissed at it, I went inside and used the laptop. W. Did some work, maybe. Or just read Hmestuck. Yeah, that's it. And maybe searched around for something I forgot about.
Slept quite late.

January 15
My dream was something about a school. It was a school in China. It was dull. The walls were gray, and the floor was of darker gray. I think it was influenced from Homestuck, when John jumped in to his father's room. Then there was a conference among teachers, my father seemed to be a part of it. Then we were brought in room with some bookcases at the corners of the room and some glass counters, preventing access to the books. I looked around the contents of the counter and saw a Promarker (I thought it was Copics there) Marker. I do not remember the color, but I think it was Orange. Then I suddenly said "Wow, buti pa sila ma ganito! Samin wala eh" to my sister who was suddenly beside me. I saw the bored counter lady smile and 'lit up' when she heard what I said. She called out to a dark, short woman talking to someone who seems to be on higher ground than the other teachers. She disregarded her. The counter lady told her what she heard in what I had said. The short lady walked around. As she passed, she was inspecting things. After she walked, I checked the marker again. Its place got changed.
Then we went out of the room and went to the bathroom. I felt the need to use the bathroom. There were chairs inside. Dad proceeded to the door leading further inside the bathroom. A man went out. I wondered why the door weren't closed. Then I remember that in China, they don't close doors when peeing (in my dream).
End of dream.

Woke up late, around 11:30AM. My body seems to not like waking up. I pushed myself to rise.
We left for CNE later. I bought a book called Beginning Game Programming. I forgot the author. Then to SM North Edsa to buy Citronella Oil And just roamed around. Wasted time, I think. For me we did. I felt like an errand boy/girl. Then went home. We watched Transformers Dark Side of the Moon while I do some furniture. Did Homework for English, and read a bit for Chem.
Then sleep.

Late for January 13

2012-01-14T06:16:00.000-08:00

Damn, this was supposed to be posted yesterday. But then internet trolled on me and killed itself. I fell asleep while waiting. So yeah.

Hey, it’s Friday the 13^thtoday. First for the year, and in the first month. That’s something.

So we had Speech, itwas about our declamation piece “The Defense of Brutus.” I didn’t know JuliusCaesar was assassinated in front of everyone when he was having something like SONA. He was killed by Brutus, and 20other senates, if I am not mistaken.

Then Chem. Justdefense. Also, we’ll hold our prom in Rembrandt Hotel.

Then Filipino. We hadour continuation for the Pananayam. I got my guesses right who gets who aspartner, or who is next. Just saying. I love my questions. My subject is “TheToplisters of your life.” It covers about whatever you have high up in yourlist. Your top 5 songs, top 4 countries/places in the world, top 3 superpowers,top 2 weapons in the zombie apocalypse (that you can find in school orclassroom), and top 1 person close to you and is opposite your gender.

Then A.P. We haddiscussion about Renaissance again, and made a logo/symbol for Renaissance. IfI get to scan it, I’ll you my work. I don’t have my notebook right now.

I like Vox Populi by 30Seconds To Mars.

Then Values. We onlyhad discussion about Seeing the God in others.

The English. We wereasked to think of a song with the word “if.” We chose “A Thousand Miles” byVanessa Carlton. Then we had discussion about the “if” word and its uses.
Then Health. Just about the Reproductive health and Causes of infertility amongmen and women.

I went home right away.I didn’t wait for the next service trip. I wanted to go home, and I have beenholding my poo in my butt since early in the morning and I don’t poo in public.Also, I just don’t feel like sticking around.

Then I played my guitarfor a while, I have been teaching myself to play “Oh Well, Oh Well” by MaydayParade and I also refreshed myself in Greenday’s “21 Guns” the solo part. Thesearched the internet about touch screens, holograms, and stuff. I want to makea touch screen mp3 player for our I.P. in Physics next school year that, whenmusic plays, a hologram that shoots up, showing the beat-like things whenplaying music, the one that rises and falls. But I have no experience with suchmatters. I hope I will be able to do something about it. I plan on downloadingor watching MIT Open Courseware’s Videos about Computer Science in iTunes andget a hang of Computer science. Maybe it will help me do things for ourPhysics. I’ll teach myself Javascript with CourseAcademy’s Javascript Lessons.I’ll teach myself Python too. I am currently using my Yeah Graphed journalnotebook for I.P. Physics ideas.

I hope this is ok fortoday’s entry. I have to wake up early tomorrow for my classmate will come hereto so we can continue our Project in Math. Then in the afternoon, I’ll have togo to school to paint the Mural art on the wall there.

That’s all for now.Thank you and Good bye.

January 11, 12

2012-01-12T06:39:00.000-08:00

January 11
The day was ok. Though I do remember feeling frustrated and stuff. I planned on sleeping around 10PM but damn home works keep me from doing so. So instead, I slept at 11PM and didn't write this blog.
So, what happened today? Today is when our class picture gets taken, and club picture, and an extra Citadel picture for the members. Thanks to this, most of the hours in the afternoon got 'stolen.' We were unable to continue with our Values, and English too. Fuck I have to bring that laptop again. Curses. In Math recitation I did well. I'm happy I got the first question right. Also, I feel like s/he's a bit closer to me than last time, or maybe it's because I have been ignoring him/her unlike now. Don't understand? Codename dude. That's what paranoia do. But s/he's his/hers. How can I own him? And besides, his/her belongings had already stated "I'm not yours" or something like that. So, I guess I should just ditch this whatever fluttery thing I feel inside when s/he smiles or laughs or just do things. But it never gets off.
Don't worry, just one and a half more years... It'll be over.
I HOPE. I want it done quick. I hate this feeling. Make me feel it when I have a job. Not now. So I guess puberty's not done with me? I thought had ended two years ago? Such a retard.
Also, got "slammed" in our I.P. defense. Yeah, we're awesome like that. No product, dull presentation, and sloppy. I just hope I can do better next time.
I guess that's all.

January 12
Ok, the Today.
Talked about "swagger" for a bit in T.L.E. I remembered Sir said something like "it's no use boasting about your 98% grade, especially with someone higher than you do. That person who got a higher grade than you do didn't even boast his/hers, so why should you?" Come to think of it, I had something like that in my blog, and it's Math, too (he also said something that the subject was Math were you get 98%). Is he reading this? Sir, are you? Please comment. I would greatly appreciate it. But I am certain it is not him. Not everyone knows my blog, nor is this guy connected with my Facebook account for its post to get published there and be seen. He also went like "At your age right now, as a Third year student who greatly depends on his/her parents, do you have any right to be boastful? To be a swagger?" I whispered to myself yes. Why? I have my pride to take with me. I live life my way, and I believe no one has the right to tell me how to lead it. Warn me and make me regret or prove you wrong, Tell me no and I'll show you it's ok. We have our ways, I have mine. Yes I know my pride is broken, but these people in my head keeps me alive and well. They are my souls, my hearts, my minds, and everything else in me. Maybe someday I'll talk to you about them. My music, too.
I thought we were finished with the I.P. defense but Sir told us otherwise because we were unable to show a product yesterday. I'm not sure if we're still going to do it tomorrow. Somewhat makes me nervous.
Then Pananayam in Filipino. Pananayam, is interview in English I think. I still have not thought of questions, or even a subject to make thinking up of questions easier. Damn it, I have to think of one (or five) soon or I'll have no home work for tomorrow.
Continuation of a group's report in Renaissance in A.P. for today. Then lunch. Different table.
Values. The Price of Corruption. Damn government and their corruption. If only they were never corrupt, maybe Philippines had already soared high, and maybe them people living in poverty will have better lives. But fvck the government. If ever I got the chance, or if ever I can become, I'll be an assassin aiming to kill any, I mean ANY politician or government official being corrupt. And burn their homes. I'll give them three tries. Then form the modern Brotherhood. Then travel to Turkey and*shot------ This is not assasson's creed. I know that. I am serious about the assassin part. As for the brotherhood, if there are people willing to join, then so be it.
Then FINALLY, report in English. No more laptop to bring to school! Finally I get to bring my file case.
Then Math. I felt alive there. I recited and took the risk, uncertain of what I should answer in the board. Oh God thank you. I got it right. That's three 90's I think, or maybe some high grade over there for the recitation. Thank you, thank you very much.

Stayed for a while, bought Hershey Drops flavored shake. Kumugs, nice name. Then Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood for a while as I can't think of a plot for the speech script. Then went inside and used the Neo laptop with plans of using the guitar in mind but was unable due to time. Maybe tomorrow. I want to learn Oh well, Oh well by Mayday Parade and also try my hand at learning their songs by ear. Wish me luck. I forgot my Mom threw away our ball for volleyball. I wish she shouldn't have done it, now I have to find someone who can lend me one. Josea intends to practice with me, so yeah. She felt guilty not playing for the Blue team n basketball girls. So she plans on practicing this coming Saturday, with me. I just hope somebody will lend me, or us. And then there's this continuing to paint the mural art this Saturday.... So... *le shrugs*

Anyway, I guess that's all I have to say for today.
I think it's better if I write post in their exact date rather than a day late or something.
Good night.

January 10

2012-01-10T06:46:00.000-08:00

Finally, a post about "today."
The Chemistry defense wasn't the real thing after all, it was only a mock defense. It is a huge relief, it really was.
So, documentary project in English never gets over with, so I always have to bring the Lenovo laptop in school. I stil love this Neo guy 'cause it's [unofficialy] mine, but it's heavy and it heats up quick. I always get nervous when it heats up. So I use the Lenovo guy. And this Neo guy is heavier. How would I grow taller if I keep bringing heavy objects around and up and down the stairs?
Classmates goofed around in class, which made my mood better for the day. That is until after lunch came. I'm high in spirits but low in energy. I was getting sleepy, but I kept fighting it and kept writing, with long breaks in between. At dismissal, I wish to talk to Josea but I was called to go home (or I could go home already because the service is there). I want to talk to her more about it. I don't know how she knew, and I'm not making those gestures speak, as gestures tend to be interpreted by our premonition or instincts. Though there are those who can interpret them well, what makes me different from them is because they are professionals and they have studies more about it. Also I am not saying instincts never work. Instincts work most of the time but we can't rely on them all the time. There are people like me whose actions tell different meanings, and whose words tell a story far from what I have said. I can't say things straight, my actions are mostly my basis. But then again, most of my actions have meanings different of what you thought it to be. I am not hard to understand, just read between the lines, or think about it for a bit. I do use sarcasm. One of the many reasons why I can not be easily understood, but I am not hard to understand, I swear. It's what I call complexities.

Then now I want to finish up our I.P. proposal, but I do not know what to write in the Conclusion part, and the Result and Discussion part as I do not know what happened with their experiment. All I know is that it killed a spider. Our I.P. is an insect repellant, by the way. I slowly start to remember what the reader told me now. I will start with it again.

That's all, thank you and good night.

EDIT: I felt like there is something special today, I'll go check it out.....

NONE. THERE WAS NONE. (except for the fact that I want to make January 10 a nice day/ memorable day)

BUT

FUUTA'S BIRTHDAY IS TOMORROW.
Advanced Happy Birthday Fuuta de la Stella!
Best wishes. May more birthdays come your way :)

Jan. 6 - Jan. 9

2012-01-10T06:16:00.000-08:00

Jan. 6
Friday, friday... It's a good thing that it's Friday already.
They liked the logo, good for me :)
Had our meeting of colors. I'm in Blue team.
Blue Lycans.
It was a normal day. I can't remember it well anymore.
Oh crap the two defenses are coming near! D:
'Need to rush. It's Math defense and Chemistry defense, BTW.
Got busy again that day, that's why I didn't get to update. I continued modelling our house in Google Sketchup without buying the Pro one (or downloading a free one).
This is all.

Jan. 7
Group mates came to our house to do our Math project with one extra (he's not part of our group, but his girlfriend's here). They came quite early, around 10:30AM. They stayed until 1:15PM. After the wood was sawed, they suddenly played with our Xbox 360. The other with the PC, and guitar. Then back to work. I still can't forget that big bowl of rice he ate. The bowl was a little full, he took it and poured all its contents into his plate. WOW. I can't eat THAT much ._. What a big appetite he had. Bad for him: He doesn't have enough ulam (Note: ulam, if I am not mistaken, has no English counterpart. It is a term used for food that is not rice and is eaten with rice, like meat, vegetables, and the like). When they left, I made our Playstation 3 controller work in the PC. It's quite tricky, since the buttons are in the wrong places. Then I played Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood with it (used it to better calibrate the PS3 controller). Then I went back to work. I then went inside since there is no internet outside. I had finally decided to download Google SketchUp 8 Pro instead. Then came that will to do things AT NIGHT. Search for shit AT NIGHT. Learn about new things AT NIGHT. Plan things instead, since it's already late AT NIGHT.

Jan. 8
Didn't get to update because we left the house and went to SM North Edsa. I woke up late. Went there around 4 or 5 in the afternoon. I bought things for our math project, and A.P. report. Then that's how my day went. Pretty quick, huh? :D Also, I got a free 2012 planner from the January issue of Reader's Digest :)

Jan. 9
Monday. GODDAMNED MONDAY. The Math defense was MOVED! HURRAH! To January 28! Which is after our field trip! hurrah! As long as the time to make the house was extended, I'm ok. Also, I didn't know Severus Snape's birthday was today, so Happy Birthday again, Severus Snape! :D Slept late because of our report in A.P. I kept searching for APH episodes that has something to do with Europe rising from its fall, but to my dismay, I found none. I aim to have the furnishes done on Friday this week, so all we have to worry about is painting and decorating the house. I just hope it comes true. Adding to what I said about Severus' Birthday: Thank you for making this day awesome! Honestly, it was. Though nothing much happened, I never felt sad today, or enraged. Maybe pissed off, but not too much. Also, about THAT information. 'Dense' talk, my instincts were right, and "it." I'll keep it all in my head. I don't want to risk saying it here. Only I am uncertain if she was telling the truth. But I trust her.

I guess that's how my day went that day.

MISSED. MISSED. MISSED.

2012-01-07T09:04:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I missed 3 posts. That's something. and I can explain.

January 4
Hello School. I'm back.
So school starts today. Not so bad, but I'm not used to the service anymore. Sitting in revers makes my stomach break. Though I am certain I have no problems with things like that but the air. The AIR. It's like it's reverse too. Like what I am inhaling is CO2 not O2. It's humid and a bit warmer than fresh air. I'm telling you it's suffocating.
On with my day. Two hours of Chem. That's something to start the year. But at least I passed the exams. And got grades higher than before. I got 87% on average. Also in other subjects. Passed them quite well. Math.... Math. I'm not sure with Values. But for English, Filipino, and A.P.... It's passing, but 75%. It's not passing for me. It's like 65%. Those times I feel like hanging myself or stabbing my brain. Oh well. I guess I better Study harder and better this time. I have to have 90%.
I don't know but I am certain I felt sad that day. Depressed, maybe. But I don't know the reason.
I do remember that I had two Deja Vu's that day. First, when Kenneth said something to me and flicked his hands like saying "hayaan mo na lang yan" (leave it be). I am certain I dreamt of that scene before. I just do not know when. Next is when Sir Chris drew a hexagon I think, and he said "pagpalagay niyo na hexagon yan" (just pretend that's a hexagon) since his hexagon looked like a pentagon. Then Kristian laughed. I had a dream like that too. Only the background was vague.
Josea and I had a conversation. Just about our day and everything we want to share with each other. think I talked more than before that time. I just hope I have enough to share with her next time. I am still unconvinced that he's somewhat like Kyoya Ootori: his words maybe simple and nonsensical, but there is something that he means by it (that is a trait of him that intrigues me, and pisses me off).
At home I continued my work on the 3D model of our project in Geometry. I'm still having troubles with exporting COLLADA files to Blender. I'm using Blender to export the COLLADA file as .fbx. Nevertheless, I continued my work. Of course, I did it while I did my homework. I do know I made a rule to myself to never use the computer unless I have done my homework but I really can't help it. I have been restless since last night. When the internet died, I went inside and used the laptop. I then remembered about using the PS3 dualshock controller for PC. Luckily, it's possible. I had quite a hard time using it, but I got it anyway. Played a little bit of Legend of Zelda in Project 64, a Nintendo 64 emulator to test the controller.I slept quite late that time.

I can not remember my dream. I guess I should have been writing them while I wait in school.

January 5
Thursday. No dream again. I can somewhat recall them, but only a color. I am certain there was something red there. Or maybe it was tomorrow's dream?
Got up a bit later today. Then to school. Got 90-something percent for T.L.E. Just three mistakes. Anyways it was easy. No problem about it. Also I was asked to make our t-shirt logo design. I will submit it tomorrow, though. Also Throughout the day I prepared for our report, highlighting whatever needs to be written in the manila paper for our report tomorrow. Sometimes during classes (sorry Ma'am Adula!). On me. On the way home, Josea and I had a chat again. She told me During the afternoon Kristia and her was talking about me. When I have been asking her about what it was, she assured me it was nothing about our chat in the Ferris Wheel. I told her I know that. She told me that it was about things on how I act with people. I am honestly curious about it. I like it better when people talk about me in front of me, even face-to-face, especially if it is about my flaws, no matter how awkward. I never liked it when people talk about me behind me. It's making me anxious or worried or even paranoid. It's still bugging me until today.
At home, I watched the documentary for our English project:

While doing the shirt logo in Inkscape:

The documentary was an hour long. I do not wish to waste time as I do not have much. I understood the documentary anyway, so it's ok. Then after that researched about our report. Note to self: When your report is a day when you have to bring your laptop, make use of the laptop in your report so it wll be more useful. Busy life is busy.

Slept late, around 2.

------------

That's all for now. I will make sure I'll post early tomorrow, as soon as I use this laptop. It's getting late, and I want to sleep.

I just hope I will be able to read homestuck soon, or play angels online.

January 3

2012-01-03T06:23:00.000-08:00

Dream again.

Party. In a secluded room. BG Music sis recognized. Went "Isn't that the song of your dance?." Strained my ears to hear the music. Heard it but didn't recognize. There were dances.
Gonna leave the room for a while. Took out things and shove it to my bag to make sure no one will take/steal them. Took the camera, another camera, and crossed around the center of the room (so as to not get in the way of the people dancing) and took the camera again or maybe phone. Saw and Passed by a guy using an Android tablet. Maybe a Samsung 7" tab. As I go back to the door, ads of iPads (iPad and iPad2) flashed by my eyes.

END. Don't remember the rest.
It's pretty much a lazy storytelling and yes I am getting lazy right now because I want to sleep for tomorrow. I have classes tomorrow yo.
So about my day, I woke up at 11:40AM something. Woke up a bit earlier because my classmates are going to visit me later in the afternoon for our Math defense. We're gonna do the house model. Group leader called. Told me the project-making will be continued. Told me they were choosing between mine and Angelo's home. Asked me if it's ok with our home, said yes. And told me in my home, at 2PM.
So I got nervous. I'll spare you the details. continued the download for Angels Online. They arrived at half past 2. God. Idon't want to say this. but fuck. Then this blog has no purpose.
I can't look at him STRAIGHT IN THE EYE. I avoided his gaze for the first five minutes or so and had restricted movements. So I just went ahead with our project. Checked back on this laptop to check the download. Wasn't Finished yet. Went back with some things I felt needed, tape maybe. Went to business. Good thing I have relaxed a bit. Confused? I haven't told you about it, nor will I ever. I won't say his name, nor will I ever. Oh and BTW, he was cute when he was eating cake. I'm not watching him with my eyes locked at him but with my PERIPHERAL VISION. I've been jealous with Josea, capable of seeing things clearly with her peripheral vision. So yeah, pretty much honing it. He's so kawaii.... Fuck his charm.

So anyway, I had also installed Battlefield 3 in our PC. I'll be playing that soon, hopefully.
Done with our work around 5:20PM or so. I checked AO. It had finished installing (I checked it once a while before and installed it, I just do not remember when). I had it patch up. Then checked my mails, stuff like that. That's it pretty much.
Oh, I didn't know that when a dog licks you, that's only when he'll follow you.
Well, Buknoy had licked me. I had even fed him most of the time, but he rarely obeys my orders.

G'night for now.
But first, I shall read a few pages of Homestuck.

Goodluck with me tomorrow.

January 2

2012-01-02T07:30:00.000-08:00

It's only day 2 and I am getting tired or lazy already. What the fun.

Dreams part. Feel free to skip it. I'll tell you when I'm done.

I pretty much forced myself to write this down. Good thing my sketchpad is just under my pillows.

I came from somewhere, with my mom. We were on a tricycle. We stopped at a street, just beside the street where Ayen, a gradeschooler who was in the same school service as me, lives. In the street where she lives a concert or performance is being held. There was a stage. Karess was speaking on the mic. It was a program of Sauyo High School. The crowd was jeering. My mom reached to me a hundred peso bill to pay the tricycle driver. I gave it to the tricycle driver and he gave me the change. The change had a extra one hundred pesos, being an honest citizen, I told him there was an extra one hundred and gave it to me. He turned his head to look at me and smiled awkwardly and took the extra change. He then drove off.

I watched the concert/performance. Karess spoke up. She was holding the mic with her right hand.
"May tito ako, na hanggang dito yung buhok (placed her left hand at her waist, gesturing the length) and chuge" She said, smiling. There were three judges at the foot of the stage. I recognize one of them as Ma'am Wheng. "Yung kuya ko, ayaw siya kausapin. Kasi daw iba. Iba yung.." She seemed hesitant to say it. In my mind I went 'Iba yung kasarian? Bakla kasi?' Then she said "Iba yung.. Kasarian." She didn't seem happy. Gian then suddenly shouted from the crowd "Bigay mo na lang kasi number mo sakin." Karess ignored him. Kristian chuckled. "Sabihin mo na lang kasi sakin number mo para makaalis na ako dito" Gian insisted.
Then there was a 'cut.' There was this game and there were floating cubes. Me and Josea were partners and playing it. The cubs were white, but a bit red because of the background. Then a screen popped in front of me, it said "There's an E------ in you!" The "E" word is somewhat long, a noun, and I do not remember what it was. A girl said "what?" Then the camera turned to her and she was a fish. She was being strangled by a man in a diving suit. She tries to break free but can't. She grabbed hold of an iron bar and seemed to open a door, a door in a small shaped like a castle place. Her friends was inside, with hateful glares at the SCUBA diver. I ran inside and took some traps to throw at the SCUBA man. I grabbed a toy nose and threw it at the SCUBA man. A green fume smoked out of it like a stink bomb. It hindered the SCUBA man in his pursuit. I took a toy balloon fish. It is colored yellow and has some small blue spots. It has a red stick-on-glass-rubber side. I threw it at the SCUBA man, hoping it would stick to him but it didn't. Nevertheless, some stink fumes went out to him. A wall seemed to separate the previous traps to other traps for there were three humans responsible for the next traps when I crossed the room. Clarence, Kenneth, and some other guy was there. They were standing behind a square surface where a graph was painted on with shapes inside. For some reason I recognized it as something to do with the game I played with Josea earlier. I took a glance at the SCUBA man and he seems to be about to recover. Clarence screams "Hoy! Ano?" Which made me turn back to them. Some other guy was wandering around, so I couldn't see his face. I saw Kenneth looking somewhat impatient. The shape in Clarence's Plank was Circle. Blue in color with white graph and outlines. Same goes for Kenneth only Square. As for the third one I cannot see. It was blurred out. Panicking myself, I told them "Basta hindi square!"

END OF DREAM

That was around nine. I slept again and woke up at half past 2PM, woken up by my sister. I don't remember my dream anymore. But I have a hunch it as something to do with Xanxus.
So yeah, daily routine when there are no classes. Ate Brunch, took a bath, use computer. Only I tucked 'read Cirque Du Freak' in my sched. I got it finished today, though. Great book. Can't wait to buy and read the next one. It was the first book that got me giddy up inside and all, my emotions were being played at while reading it. So anyway, I planned on playing Eden eternal but didn't. Curse that 'Http can't connect' crap. Oh well. I'm waiting for Angels Online to download in this laptop. I'm certain this guy can play the game well and not slow.

Also I got the SBURB logo as the Start orb here in 'my' laptop (I'm claiming it, but it's not officially mine), and the SBURB screensaver.

Cheers for Homestuck.XD.

That's it for now. Goodnight :)

January 1

2012-01-01T06:58:00.000-08:00

Ok, I aim to post this guy before the first day of the year ends, which is almost an hour and a half away right now I am still typing.

So I have this plan, again, but I will stick with it, I swear. I plan to post at least one blog entry a day, for the entire year, and see for myself if the year is a good one or not. This post will start it and yes my blog will lean on to the 'diary' side. I always tend to forget things, so right now I don't know if 2011 was a memorable year or not. I don't like overwhelming my brain with memories, so I can't recall some events in 2011. I am not saying I have forgotten my days during the year 2011 but rather I do not know, I just don't know.

I plan on starting with my dream, so here it goes. But I barely remember it, so I'll just put 'objects' or events here.

There is a man. His hair was dyed black and I do not know what its real color is. He was a father, and there was this backdrop colored black with occasional red clouds, like in the Akatsuki cloak. There's also Death Note somewhere behind. A young boy ran to him and hugged him.
I was in school. It was dark ad the moonlight is the only source of light. There were my classmates, but all I remember was Bianca. I do not remember what happened there.

I got up late in the afternoon around 12:30. I had lechon paksiw for breakfast---brunch rather, and baked mac, festive ham and of course rice. Then after that I read a book, Cirque Du Freak by Darren Shan (BTW, it's a great book. I want to complete the series and buy other books by Darren Shan as well :D). Then used the computer (took a bath first. I always do that) to play Assassin's Creed: Brotherhood. I wanted to play it on PS3 but we don't have any and we already have it in the PC. I pretty much spent my hours playing. I forgot to mention I was looking forward to a friend arriving at my home, the afternoon, but she told me her relatives suddenly arrived so she couldn't come. I had the feeling it's just an excuse because our other friends wouldn't or can't come, but it's ok. I was actually not expecting her to come, because of a sudden event or that she got lazy. Then I surfed the net for a bit because the internet isn't stable in the PC. I moved to the laptop later, but then we got to eat. My sister baked cupcakes too, with a little help from dad and some scolding from mom. Mom went like "I thought you knew how to bake" and "If you knew how to bake it's ok to start late but you don't" and things like that. It's somewhat pissing me off. Why can't she just tell her how it's done and stop screaming at her? Hey, I'm not being nice to my sister here, I'm just telling mom a way to become a better Parent, no matter how much she regrets being one. She already is a parent, there's no turning back so I suggest she does her job and deal with it. Once dad said "they can be taught how it's done" then mom went like "Nobody taught me but I know how it's done." In my mind I went like "it's YOU, not HER." I want to tell that to anyone who goes like that, but NOOO, they'll go "you're answering your parents/ somebody older than you." Fuck I have my mind. Let's say it's young and I don't understand why then fucking tell me why. It's pissing me off. When people get angry at you when you tell them the truth but they 'classify' it as 'answering.'

Sigh. Humans.

So that's how my day went. Also I made this Art Creativity Journal for 2012, it's actually from about.com but it's good, really helpful I hope. With it, I hope to draw everyday in 2012. Or I'll make it up the next day or the next time I draw. Same goes for my goal about this blog. Let's just hope for the best and hope that I do not get lazy.

Happy New Year by the way.

HELLO 2012. I'll skin you alive if you're not nice to me. LOLnojk.
Ciao.

Also I bought this book, The Ultimate Book of Drawing by Barrington Barber. I just hope it's a good book.
AND I now love Homestuck. It's awesome.
I had a Mist Box weapon for Christmas (does that make me an official MIST GUARDIAN?? XD), a KHR wallet, Cirque Du Freak Book 3: Tunnels of Blood, and a Hidan, Kisame, & Deidara keychains.

Out.

2011-12-10T06:02:00.001-08:00

Do you know how much I want to kill
How much I want to murder.
To break out. To loose my mind. Start a riot.
Undergo hysteria.
Feelings.Locked.Inside.
There's.Nothing.To.Release.it.out.to
That's.why.I'm.typing.here.
Sorry.for.the.periods.
People will go like
"Irresponsible, dumb, uneducated"
If i'll do it.

Somebody get me through this nightmare.
Do you know how much my mind is killing me, everyday?
Do you know what was whispered to me every time?
When you spat me insults, and shame me in front of everyone?

Oh when you smile the whole world stops and stares for a while
'Cause girl you're amazing, just the way you are.

Sometimes I just want to throw this laptop.
Or just break something.
But money will be wasted.

FUCK YOU BITCH.
SHUT THE HELL UP.
FUCKER.
THEY JUST DON'T KNOW YOUR ATTITUDE.
THEN THEY"LL GO "YOU'RE LIKE A KID THAT GREW IN THE STREETS.
BAD ATTITUDE, IRRESPONSIBLE , LIKE YOU NEVER WENT TO SCHOOL.
IT MUST BE BECAUSE OF YOUR FRIENDS."
FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU ALL.
DO YOU NOT SEE YOUR PART ON HOW I HAVE GROWN INTO THIS?

Pagdilat, Ikaw agad ang hinahanap sa umaga
Nasaan ka na? Malayo ka pa ba?
Kay tagal ng 'yong, pagbabalik.
Sa pagpatak ng bawat sandali
Nakatikom lagi ang aking mga labi
Inaaliw ang sarili sa musika
Makapiling
Makapiling ka.

Everything's a lie.
Just get me insane.
So I won't give a fuck about all these.

Everyday meal

2011-12-04T04:41:00.001-08:00

is Regret.
Or maybe I am it's everyday meal.
Can't I just turn insane?
That I may forget, and care less
Or If I am already
Can my insanity grow worse?

Turn me into a magician.
An illusionist. Delusional.
That nothing become real
Everything becomes a lie.

2011-11-22T06:27:00.001-08:00

Ok. Before I restart Firefox for update, I will post something first.

So, start off: Rant.
I don't know, maybe it's just me. At the same time, maybe it's what's true.
When somebody else goes "I'm gonna give up," "I can't take this anymore," "I'll stop," and shit like that, everyone goes like "hey you can do it," "don't loose hope" and more fuck like that.
But when I will do it, maybe everyone will go like "attention whore," "The fuck I care," and trash like that. I don't know. I haven't done it, but I know they'll go like that.
It just feel so.. unfair to me.

Everyone was treated normally by them, like they really understand. Even my friend was treated quite well. Heck, even if she says she's trash-talking him, or them, it's what makes the interaction NORMAL. She's part of them. Goddamit. Doesn't she get it? I don't think she understand how I felt. How I felt whenever they're picking on me and everyone is laughing AT me. How I felt when they throw insults at me. Though through their eyes, those were jokes, in one way or another, it gets to me as an insult. And for the long time you both haven't talked, his first word to you is an insult or a 'bad word.'
Then I guess I just have to turn into a more hardened stone.
Rants won't get me anywhere. It won't even change anything.

That feeling. It came again.
Don't drag me down that pit of hell.
That Depression.

Get it out of my system. Put in insanity but never depression. Put in anger. Place in Hatred. Stuff in Anxiety.
But Please, not depression.

Oh well, just another year.
Goodluck with my exams too.

If I ever understood Japanese, I probably am being motivated by GACKT's EVER right now.
But Japanese, or not, I am motivated.
Thanks Gackt. :)

Whatever they say never change your way

Pageviews

2011-10-27T09:19:00.000-07:00

I am honestly wondering how i get pageviews here...
I checked the pageviews status here in blogger.
Hey look, there's Philippines...
Wait, Germany? How-when-wha---???!!!
If it's Ireland it's ok (because I have a friend who lives there)

But maybe it's accidental, or "curiosity kills the cat."
Oh well.
Thanks for viewing anyway, and reading if there is anything you read :)

Oh, BTW the plan didn't work out. I love sleep so much (my mind and body does, too)

Sleep

2011-10-26T07:41:00.000-07:00

Is Sleep not so important, as it should be the least thing you must do?
Is Sleep not so important, that you skip it to learn things new?
Is Sleep not so important, that it is a nuisance to your life?
Is Sleep unneeded, unwanted, and useless?

Though it is also backed up by studies, I believe that sleep is important that you need it especially if there is a test the next day. But my parents disagree, though they are not telling me or us directly, I can tell. To see who's right or wrong, I decided to not sleep tonight. I hope I can do this. It will be a torture, but I prefer to understand things by experiencing it first-hand. I shall study my behavior tomorrow and see for myself what "No Sleep" will give me. They believe you can't finish things when you sleep. Yeah its true. But proper sleep and adequate hours of sleep is essential too, to get shit done.
Because of this day I decided to not hope to be studying in U.P. in College. Yeah people will admire you, praise you for it but it's fucking suffocating. I don't want to sacrifice my sleep for studies. When I die, I won't be happy. I know shit but I won't be using it after I die. It's irrational. Sleep is important. DREAMING is important. It's much more important than your life. But then again this is my belief.
Well, I'll set my goal as "pass the U.P. Diliman entrance exam" and things like that that way I can hopefully pass other exams too, but I'm not hoping to pass. I'll be aiming for Ateneo or something like that or U.P. Baguio.

And, wasn't life to be lived happy and meaningful?

Anyways, just letting out all my frustration.
Sorry for the hiatus, I got lazy and busy.
Semestral/Health break's right around the corner :D
I'm excited.

Just got this Fucktard of a Plan in mind

2011-10-01T10:37:00.000-07:00

And I want it to come true.
It is a plan that aims to bring everyone down.
To show them who's boss, and to tell them "You can't kill me."
It is directed to everyone, especially those who have hurt me.
Be it physically or mentally, perhaps even emotionally.

I'm the boss here, and I will show all of you that.
It may not be obvious now, for I will stay in the shadows and attack you by surprise.
You'll regret you ever hurt me or crossed me.
You'll regret that you wrote me off.

I'm still human. I don't want to be, but I am.
It may not be obvious that I care or if I'm hurt, but I really am.
I just know to turn into stone in certain situations.
But there are times when I am fragile, and that's when your words will kill me.

I mean, yeah all of you are nice, and seem to care for me.
But your darker side, it makes me shiver in fear.
And the injustice every single one of you has shown to me, even unintentional.
I'm a person of justice, and "I hate because I fear."

That certain person who is the class clown.
A total asshole, picks on me most of the time.
I'm okay with it, makes me feel like I'm not too hidden.
But he gets fucking overboard, and he never seems to notice.
I am near to tears, near to break down.
Fortunately I'm not a person used to crying, otherwise I would have cried in school.
I hate him. He added the wounds in my scarred pride.
And maybe because he's not my classmate anymore.
Everyone thinks I take his 'jokes' as a joke, like him 'provoking' me into a fight.
That's why they laugh at us when he picks at me, and lets him say whatever he wants.
Well yeah sometimes I'm okay with it, but then again sometimes it's already inflicting pain on me.
He's so full of himself. Another reason to hate him.

Honestly I feel like breaking this laptop, smashing this to pieces as I reminisce about the "driving force" behind this plan.

Best friend who laughed at me because of his joke. She knew I'm getting angry, and continued to laugh at me. I just shove her off. Next day she stared at me and went "there's something wrong" I said no and
she said "tell me about it later" and went to the line. It was "Morning Colors" that day (Flag Ceremony). I never told her about it, 'cause she didn't ask me about it later that day.
She didn't know it was EVERYONE ELSE including HER and especially THAT GUY. His greeting to me the day before was a "bad word." And the guy next to me just laughed at me, but BTW I'm thankful to the other guy next to me on my right. He told THAT GUY "Hey, don't do that to bippitybeep" (heh, dun wanna reveal mah name). And she also told me about what THAT GUY was saying about me. Straight to my face. It did hurt, but it's what I wanted isn't it? And I think it's my turn.

Fucking September 21, 2011. Most Hated Day Yet.

And everyone else's pride. It' suffocating.
I don't know who to trust.
And my mind that can't let me decide.
All I can do is craft this little corner of mine and do my own business.
Everything else is shit to me

Hate resides again.
Anger.
And I don't think it's my fault now.
It's yours, 'cause I think I have forgiven you far too much.
You have had wounded me, killed me, tortured me.
Now it's my turn.
Just wait for my revenge. And prepare to die.

"Wonderland"
"If I can't hang my head then at least let me shave my head and bring me to the asylum, I think I'm losing my mind"
"Hush, Here Comes The Dream Man" - Evelyn Griffiths

I guess hate is still the only thing I can rest my head on.

Worst Day Yet

2011-09-08T08:49:00.000-07:00

I dunno. I feel so stressed today.

Someone was concerned about my grades. My conscious gets "I'm so sorry, this is so embarrassing" and I felt like crying. I hate crying.
Said "May I pass?" and they said "siga" and companion looks angry and said something to me but I didn't hear nor understand. I just said "I'm just asking!" I hate that angered face. Beats mine. But nothing beats Xanxus's.
Searched about my weird dreams, the one with ear-piercing noise. Turns out it was Sleep Paralysis. Scared the fuck out of me, remembering those "screeches." Hurts like hell.
Came across the pyramid hotel of North Korea the Ryugyong Hotel. Gave me the chills and reminded me of its no windows building.
I was brushing my teeth. Mom said my legs are getting bigger and asked me if I'm feeling anything painful. I said no. I always say no. Even if it's suppose to be yes. But, I'm not feeling anything wrong anyway. Once in a while I do, but it's nothing.

I jump every time something I do not know what moves, thinking maybe it's a flying insect, like a roach. Kind of got 'alerted' (jerked, pretty much) when I saw something move from the reflection in the monitor frame.I realized it was the reflection of my hand.

I am easily scared today. I guess I'm just stressed. A lot of things needed done. There, I'm near tears now. Fuck.
Got to do work.

A Whole New World

2011-05-05T10:52:00.001-07:00

(Lame title again XD)

There was this kid that, one time, while he was watching a cartoon movie, wondered in his mind:
"I wonder how they do that?... Go into a certain world with these events and characters and film it?"
This kid believed there was a world different from ours. A world where Lilo & Stitch (and Co.) was there. A world where Aladin was riding Jasmine around the world on his magic carpet. And a world where Cinderella wasn't a fairytale, but a history.
This kid had almost forgotten this thought as he grew, but fotunately, he remembered it, and wrote it down.

He analyzed the thought, made a decision, and found the answer to his childhood question:

That world was in the minds of their creators. It was the world that was crafted by mere minds, brought to life by the simple paper then the complex animation. It breathed, thanks to its caring owners, that didn't let them die and instead, give them a life they will enjoy. A life, that I, myself, will wonder about.

It was their endless imagination and borderless creativity that created worlds that were not known to exist, apart from themselves. It was determination and pereseverance, that became the Sun and Moon of that world.

I must not be afraid to shove my a** forward, not backwards, for it will take me back to where I was, and not sidewards, for I'll just run around in circles. What about diagonally? I'll get lost.
I will find this 'Imagination' and 'Creativity' so that I will be able to impress my childhood self, and create a world I didn't imagine that existed, but will.
I will also find this 'Determination' and 'Perseverance' that will be the framework of everything I do, so that I will not fail, fail to see why I failed, and fail to think freely, just like what I wanted to do. Most of all, failing to stand up for what I believed in: Remember LIMITLESS.

I shall have creativity and professionalism walk hand-in-hand, that the other may not survive without the other.

And maybe, just maybe, make others, young or old, wonder in awe and impress them while I show them the world I created. That the old will feel like children again, and the young will enjoy their youth more.

Oh, and do you know who this kid is? I'm sure you know her.

It's me.:)

Advertisment? Just a Welcome

2011-04-22T09:26:00.000-07:00

Cool Type vs. Cloud Guardian

It's my friend's blog here in blogger.
Check her out, she has a lot of things to talk about (unfortunately, it's mostly in Filipino..!)

Honestly, I feel... what word does fit? Happy? Enthusiastic? Glad? (IDK) when someone I know and close to is a member of a site I'm in, especially if it's a blogging site.
Maybe it's because I'm not contented with the actions they're showing and words they're saying when we're together and having a nice, comfortable chat. I believe they have not said what they wanted to say, or they have something to say but didn't have the guts or time to say it. I can't just ask them to lend e their diary if ever they keep one so that I will understand them and know them more. A diary is supposed to be a PRIVATE thing. Fortunately, blogging isn't (unless you change the settings). So it means they post it because maybe they want someone to hear them out, whoever it may be, and that what they're saying is not too private that anyone and everyone can read it.

So yeah. Let the writing begin :)

Oh and sorry if I'm not updating too often. I can't find a private time when I'm using our laptops, and our desktop's broken (a bit, hard to start it up. Dad said it needs to be formatted.). And I'm a bit busy with practicing my drawing skillz and practicing guitar for teh lessons.

There are no such things as Coincidence, only the Inevitable

2011-03-28T21:41:00.000-07:00

Got the quote from xxxHolic, one of CLAMP’s awesome mangas:)

This post will not talk about me but about my perspective.

I’ll only be talking about this certain topic, not every single crap about how I look on things. That’s too long, and can even lack information due to the fact that I have not compiled my perspectives and tell the summary to anyone who would listen.

So, I shall be talking about: Randomness.

I don’t think random is existent (?). Yes, the word itself exists but it does not live. I do not believe that someone does something randomly or just because they’re random. Well, I believe everything has a reason. If you’re bored or subconsciously-bored-becuase-you-don’t-think-you’re-bored-but-you-really-are, mostly you disturb someone, usually the unfortunate person sitting next to you. You smack/poke/punch/kick and/or do whatever you want to do to him then he will be like “What was that for?!” and then you will say “Oh nothing.” And those self-proclaimed random people will add “I told you I’m random.” EF (my version of f*ck, less obscene and less would understandXD) no. You are not effing random. You’re just bored. You may say you’re not, but I’m telling you, there is this ‘subconscious’ or ‘back of your mind’ or ‘deep down’ whatever you call it that’s making you do stuff without you knowing unless you have a deep connection with it. IMO, it pretty much never tells you ‘why.’ But it knows why.

Another situation would be when you’re talking with someone. You’re talking about how awesome Harry Potter is and Voldemort being gay all over Harry and also wondering what shampoo does Lucius uses because his hair is, well, awesome that beats yours. And then in the middle of the conversation you’ll be like “What’s Kyoya HIbari’s Box weapon?” and then the person you’re talking to would give you a WTF face and be like “Dude, Harry Potter man. What the heck did you ate?!” And then the pride of being random kicks in. You’re not random derp. The reason why you asked that is because there is this nagging feeling ‘at the back of your mind’ that honestly and seriously wants to know that President of the Disciplinary Committee of Namimori High’s box weapon that suddenly came up to you and rashness got the best of you, so you asked that out-of-topic question.

Well yeah, random buttons doesn’t even exist in music players, only shuffle.

As for sending people something or tagging them at one of your works (dunno a better term:/), random tagging is, IMO, dead. You tag them because you would like it better if they are able to read you work and/or see it. You want these people to hear you out, not those people. So yeah.

I guess this pretty much sums it up. Why I think random does not exist. But maybe a shop would be named random or a show or anything, that I believe to be alive. I might talk about this guy again in my future posts if I have anything to add.

Feel free to flame, suggest, complain, ask, or just simply comment. Limitless is on your side in this blog.

OKAY, additional crap. Life Update.

I got a Samsung Galaxy Mini GT-S5570 the day before yesterday. It’s awesome :)

Thanks to this guy, I love Android. Android just doesn’t get too much spotlights, because Mac’s hugging it all. I can finally play Angry Birds, thanks to this guy too. FOR FREE. Unlike in iPhone, you have to pay for a few cents. And yeah, I am ABSOLUTELY happy with this guy. It comes with a free 2GB microSD card :D.

It’s formerly invaded by Mukuro Rokudo. But now it’s invaded by the Varia XD.

Ano kaya ang susunod sa mga gamit ko na magiging teritoryo ng Vongola, Varia at Kokuyou Gang? XD

Summer Post, Start of Something ‘New’

2011-03-24T23:41:00.000-07:00

Gah, I know I’m lame at giving titles that I even based it off of Disney’s Song in High School Musical.

So, I actually have a plan this summer. I plan on giving this blog a new purpose, a certain topic it must work on:

My flaws and why I am ‘away’ from everyone else.

But I think it’s lame, It’s like exposing me to the world.

It’s like giving out personal info to strangers, and wouldn’t that be bad?

Was it?...Nope, I guess not. Except if I’m giving them my address, contact number… you know, stuff like that.

Isn’t this a blog? Yes, fortunately it is.

And blog is equivalent to… a Diary? Or a Journal? Both. I’m afraid it is.

With this in mind, I think I can continue my plan. I only hope I won’t get lazy.

BUT, before I hop on to the details of my plan, I shall post an update first.

I’m addicted to KHR now and heck, I love Fran and Mukuro. Master and Apprentice Illusionists.

Totally epic, I daresay. Totally EXTREME. (Ryohei? XD I’m not a fan)

I like Gokudera, too. He’s simply unexpected. He knows how to perform excorcism (I find him funny when he did that), he has his own alphabet (G-Code, I think), and he has an interest in extraordinary (Creatures below earth? PricelessXD). He looks beautiful when he ties his hair and wears glasses.

I’m not a fan of the Varia for the first time, but I like them now, no, LOVE them:). People with mental disorders (well, not exactly.. just problems) teamed up=fun, especially in the future arc.

My desktop is even invaded by these guys. Vongola and Varia alike. Kokuyou gang and Millefiore(w/ the Vongola). My firefox persona’s SPECTACular, featuring Hibari, Tsuna, Gokudera and Yamamoto wearing glasses.

Oh, I have something to recommend to spice up your desktop: Rainmeter.

It’s awesome and less clutter. But that depends on the theme. I use ABP.

Hmm, as for plans this summer: I’m not sure.

I want to practice using photoshop and watch the training, but there’s this part of me that doesn’t want to. Why bother pushing it?

Same goes for Flash, and Illustrator.

I want to learn flash because I want to learn how to animate, with a lot of crap doing this and that. If I choose Photoshop, then I have to animate everything by hand. While in Flash, hopefully, things may be a bit easier since it is designed for animation, not pictures. I want to animate the intro of Fireflies, but a part of me is not in the mood to learn Flash right now. As for illustrator, just to get me used to vector and learn how to use its tools for easier designing. If I didn’t go through training, I will definitely suffer in making even the simplest design. So I guess I have to wait for the next vacation.

For some reason, I want to learn 3D with 3ds Max and programming, even if I have no reason why I should do so. That’s why I’m kind of half-hearted about it. It’s like I myself don’t want to but my soul wants to. So it’s hard to decide, but I don’t want to waste this vacation. So I guess I’ll teach myself 3D. The programming part, I’m not sure. I think this brain’s set to a goal of making a game, or something that requires both 3D and programming. So yeah, 3D and programming, here I go.

Oh, I am currently playing Grand Fantasia, and also Grand Chase. But I’m more passionate in playing Grand Fantasia than Grand Chase now (3_3).

Back to the plan, I’m just gonna post about me. My problems and stuff and also my complaints/rants. Maybe I will post some other stuff, too.

So, I don’t care if anyone is reading my posts or not. I’m just using this blog as my ‘place’ where I ‘pour myself in.’ In other words, Limit is nonexisting in this blog.

Everything I want to say, shout, whisper, or write, sing, or draw will be post here.

Therefore, LIMITLESS is the perfect word to describe this blog starting now.

My posts may be long, or short, or just contain pictures. Or even links.

So, here I am done with the intro. The next post will be the first post that will make this plan successful.

And you, as the reader, if you are ever reading this, are free to express your thoughts. Flame, suggest, complain or simply comment. So long as you do not spam, you are free to express yourself via comments.

Once...

2011-02-24T03:40:00.000-08:00

someone played a song using a guitar. I don't remember who owns the guitar he (i'm not saying it's a guy) is using. He played a song, it almost made me cry. I shivered slightly back then.

A year later, a different person played a song using a guitar. A few seconds later, I felt like I'm gonna cry. I don't know why, I don't even know what song he is playing.

I wonder: do their despair scream when they play guitar? I'm not sure how or why, but I think it does. As they play, something inside them will burst. Something that cannot be seen by the eyes, but can be felt in a way. Are they trying to connect to their listeners as they play?

IDK. Don't mind me. This blog is random babblings about random rubbish anyway.

Difference

2010-11-26T04:45:00.000-08:00

I always forget to post this.
My recent discovery and the answer to why enabling flash is discouraged in photography:

(with flash)

(without flash)

Both are taken at the same day, same time (around 5PM)

Oh, sorry if it's a bit blurry.

Got shaky hands :I

Dance Night

2010-11-07T02:29:00.000-08:00

(Yesterday, 11/6/10)
(Theme: Manga Mania)

I cosplayed Undertaker for that event. I didn't expect my costume to be a good one, a lot of them like it, including the teachers.
Well, I think it started around 6 o'clock. I came late, but there weren't anything I missed.
It was a nice night, quite memorable. It may be a bit better, if only I danced. Either way, it's fun to see them all dance, insanely or normally. And I think I prefer it that way.

Sponsor: McDonalds Mindanao Ave. Branch for food:)

We have Free dancing, battle of the bands, modeling, dance contest, and draw my anime contest.

I don't know who won in the contests. I just wish we won in "draw my anime" contest.
Oh, I also like the 2nd year's band performance and the 4th year's.
I think I like them because of how the drums were played:)
It was neatly played, (though I meant no offense, so no hard feelings) unlike the ones played by the third year's.

All in all, it was a great night. I might come again next year.

------------------

Stumble Upon!!!!

made an account today:)
Just for fun

Until then.

p.s.: I wonder why almost no MSQC student (that is my fb friend) logged in today

Late October Post....

2010-10-24T03:27:00.000-07:00

Ah, we won in our Mass Demo yesterday.
"Champion", do you believe that?:D

I didn't expect that we'd win.
Quite something to celebrate

Next up: Dance Night
It was moved to Nov. 6 and I kind of get irritated about it.
It's my first ever dance night, didn't have that in my previous school.
But I think it's a good thing that it got moved, otherwise, I would not have my costume :(
The theme this year is 'Manga-Mania'
Yup, It's COSPLAY.
I'm cosplaying Undertaker from Kuroshitsuji (Black Butler)
I got a part of the costume yesterday: The outer coat and the inner coat...
And I got barked by my dogXD

I was wearing it, and when my mom told me to show it to my (older) sis, I went to our 'kitchen' (I'm not sure if I should call it kitchen since we have our PS3 and computer there) and showed it to her.
Our dog saw me, and then he ran around and barked at me as though I am a stranger who wants to kill him.
He looked fearful, but he walked towards me and I scratched his neck to make him feel better. I'm guessing still scared that time, when I reach out my hand to touch him, he backed away and bark again.
Well, I think he got over it sooner.
I admit, I'm kind of excited for the dance night :)

then... ASSASSIN'S CREED!
We got ACII, and I'm loving it:)
It's my dad's present to me for my birthday.
My mom's present to me is a Death Note Live Action Movie 1 - 3 and One Piece Locket-like clock (don't know what it's called).
I want to finish it 8)

Got quite a lot of thing to do, now that it's SEM BREAK :D
Shouldn't be messing around, doing nothing.

I guess that's all for now, until then.

Update

2010-09-11T23:14:00.000-07:00

Hi, I guess I'll be updating this thing. It's been a while.

First off, Happy birthday to a friend of mine(you know who you are:D)

Our adviser's birthday was September 6 (I should have made a post that time)

Adviser's Birthday, September 6

I didn't expect that my classmates will celebrate her birthday like it's grand (or something like that). I can tell it was heartfelt, unfortunately, I can't put it into words.

It was great guys, Zephies. We did our part, to put even just half a smile on her face.

Well then here is my post for today

I feel like I want to update this blog everyday or every time there is a memorable event in my life. Something I want to share.

I read a blogpost of plasmaskies in tumblr. It's about her, and I felt sad about it. I don't think she want anyone reading it to feel sad, of course, it depends on the readers. She's not doing this to gain our or my mercy, she's just... telling the truth.

Because of this post, a certain thought resurfaced itself on my mind.

No matter where in this corrupted society you stand, you're always lucky.

Sometimes, we make good things bad, just to consider ourselves 'unlucky,' or worse, just to find a reason to be depressed. But others really have depressing life, and it is theirs to chose if they want to destroy the cage they're in. We have choices, don't we?

It doesn't always depend on our faith, the "god" you all believe in, the luck of the universe for us and our future to change, but it's us, and it always will be.

We humans are prone to relying on something, where we can put our hopes on. Rarely do we rely on our selves. A great example would be when we love someone, have them really close to us, and cling to each other like being 'tenacious.' When the other breaks up with you, you feel like everything in your life is lost. What causes this? You rely on him far too much, love him far too much and hold him far too long... and have none of these to yourselves.

ARG. I think I'm the only one who can understand the hell i'm saying. Just comment if you want me to continue (that is if I can remember the next ones)

Anyways, see ya....

*Blog theme changed since last July 20, 2010

Hey...!

2010-07-20T02:15:00.000-07:00

I didn't go to school today.
Because I caught a cold, with fever.
Actually, it was cured yesterday night, but it came back when I woke up.

I didn't know fever is just a symptom, not a disease.

I watched Naruto Shippuuden this morning in ABS-CBN. It's the episode about Tobi discussing to Sasugay/Sasuke what Itachi really intend. Why he killed his own clan, and stuff.
And I was like, "Is the reason why I felt sick and weak yesterday because of Itachi's death??!" XD....
While I was watching, I realized that, I miss Itachi.
I miss seeing him in episodes or manga.
IDK....

Next up: A weird thing that happened to me last week, i think.. I'm nor sure when.
We were going to school.
I was thinking about Izaya (I forgot why) and one of the events that I thought there was Izaya saying "Let's give you a little bit of torture"
And then A Justin Beiber(Dieber) song played in the radio.
I was like 'Holy $h**'
It was definitely weird because that is the only time when I heard Energy Radio Station play a Justin Dieber Song. don't remember what song it is, 'cause I have no intention in memorizing the songs of a singer that I hate so much.

Hur... oh yeah, sorry for not updating so much.
I have been busy with school.
Got lots of project...

I guess that's all I have to tell you now.
Until then.

School...

2010-06-17T04:29:00.000-07:00

Well then, I guess I should stop being lazy and start updating this again.

Main topic: School.

So, how was school?
It was fine. Separated from my previous classmates last school year.
Oh, and a new section.

Zephaniah.

well, for some reason I felt more confident in my classmates unlike last year.
Oh well, I'll tell you more soon.

Oh, we have quite a lot of new teachers.
and I recognize one of them fairly well.
And this teacher was our teacher in Science when I was in Grade 5 (Still studying at AMS)
(Mga kaklase ko sa Acelina dati, alam ko kilala nyo kung sino un!)

So, I guess that's all I can tell you about school for now.
Before I forget, we have Aircons!!:DDD
I FEEL SO HAPPY WHEN I GO BACK THERE FROM LUNCH/RECESS!! XD (it's so cold!:D)
....and it brings back memories too...

I think I would be able to practice my guitar more while there are still classes.
I have to do it anyway, unless I do not mind having a low grade in our music class.
But, as our music teacher said, we won't be studying about guitar for the entire year.
Just for some weeks, I guess.

I feel so excited of this year.
Looking forward to finishing this year with a huge smile hanging in my face:)

Oh, here is the image(s) of the notebook!
I made it into a collage, so there won't be a hassle of turning it into an album:)

That's all for now.

hmm....

2010-06-03T07:07:00.000-07:00

I have made my second webs account as a site for Web developement Learning Progress.

It is made with the help of about.com's html/css tutorials.

I'm really grateful to learn by them.

I know, the layout is still REALLY simple.

But, that's what we should do things, right?

Start out small and build it bigger over time.

The image that I posted in this post is what I will use for a part of my tumblr account's bg.

And it will take some time before it appears to be a bg...:(

So, next week will be my 'exam', which is actually something that I will do to prove myself that the things I listed at my summer 'to-do list' is rightly done.

But I'm afraid I fail at the following:

Learning Japanese

Learning to make games with GameMaker

Learning 3D

Learning 2D animation (yes, I took it back)

Improving Guitar

.......

5 out of 7 failed to be done D:

So, that means...

I succeeded at improving my drawings

and

I succeeded in Learning to color with Photoshop.

Even though I do not play with Photoshop that much, I can tell that I have improve coloring+making linearts digitally.

I was not the same as I was before, being like 'Oh, I HATE PHOTOHSOP, IT'S SO LAGGY'....

and being impatient in doing linearts with the tablet.

Photoshop seems to become nicer to me:D

So in my conclusion, I would say that I am most comfortable using Photoshop than any other Drawing/Art programs I have use.

Why? It is because I was able to create artworks with a use of a mouse, be it on linearts or colors.

Thanks to Photoshop's Pen Tool.

Though I have not tried every Single drawing Program available, I still love photoshop...

Well, onto some other computer/goals-unrelated stuff....

ALESANA IS GONNA HAVE A CONCERT HERE IN THE PHILIPPINES!!!!

XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

....Though I doubt I would be able to come, so why be excited?..

..but at least they're gonna come here:D

Oh, and School starts June 15.

I'm kind of excited to see my classmates again :)

.....

Anyways, I think that's all I can tell you for now...

See ya.

uh....

2010-05-20T05:55:00.000-07:00

After days of procrastinating and I finally decided to update this blog.

May Events!:D

Oh, I have finished Final Fantasy XIII since May 1.
I had Dynamic Recall Training on May 3 - 7
I changed the blog definition of this blog (from 'a dream will always stay a dream' to 'Random babbling about random rubbish')
On May 29 is the Culminating Activity of Dynamic Recall.

Now, onto my news....

I love Durarara♥
Especially ♥Orihara Izaya♥
Because of him, I realized that I have a certain attraction to insane anime characters....
But i'm not saying he's insane in a bad way:)
I'm still waiting for the Chapter 12 to come.
Though I am frustrated in watching Durarara episodes because I cannot watch them....
....they load fairly slow in this computer.....

I'm playing Angels Online again.
And I'm loving it again:)
I think it's because I need a break from 3D games....

Oh, I've been joining Fanlistings now.
Look at the side!:D

I swear most of my goals hasn't been met.
I HATE YOU LAZY!
I HATE YOU PROCRASTINATE!
damn it....

Oh, and Deviant Art changed their layout since yesterday, May 19...
And I'm fine with it.

I almost forgot, my friend went to Canada since May 7.
She's in Winnipeg.
As a remembrance, she gave me a Kuroshitsuji necklace (i'll post the pics next time)
And as my remembrance to her, I gave her a notebook... OTL
Here it is:

Panel 1- Miyami: Hikane! I have something very important to tell you!/ Panel 2- Hikane: What is it?/ Panel 3- Miyami: (is actually bored) I LIEK CEREAL ; Hikane: THAT is not important :<

This is all I can give you now...
Transferring files from my cp takes too long and laggy...
I'm really sorry...
I'll try to post the others next time.

Well, I guess this is all that I'm going to say.
See you soon:)

laaaaa~!

2010-04-26T08:43:00.000-07:00

(don't mind the title, it's nothing, really...)

Well, there's a new 'removed' and an addition to my 'Summer to-do list'
Removed: Learning 2D animation/Flash
Added: Learn to make games

"making games?? wasn't that harder than learning animation???!"
well, yeah. It IS hard. If you don't know programming....
.......and if you don't have GameMaker... :)

Details about GameMaker: here from Wikipedia

GameMaker is made by yoyogames.com
In their site, you can see games.
And all are made from their Game-making software GameMaker.
It only requires little to no programming (that is what I can say for now, 'cause I'm still doing their official tutorial about making a scrolling shooter)
It's really awesome, it deserves to be exposed to those who aspires to become a video game maker.

It's worth a try.
And most of all, it's free!:D
The Lite Edition, that is.

oh, I got another MMORPG to like, too...

Neo Steam.

Neo Steam is developed by JoyImpact and published by Atlus Online.
It's a steampunk-themed MMORPG

What I like the best about the game is its theme: Steampunk.
The different methods of transportation seem really great, and I think its an unique feature of the game.
I'm not sure about the gameplay, though....
I haven't played it yet.

Before I end this post, I want to advertise something...

Manga-Apps of deviant art is running a contest.
I'm joining it because it seems fun.
Visit their journal post for more info.

oh, and one more thing: I am a proud [B]logger.
(what I mean: I am prod to be a blogger member)
Why? because I love the feature that lets you edit your own blog layout.
It's a great thing to have here.
It makes me feel so great, having a blog layout that is made by me.
With the help of Blogger's awesome feature, though:)

Anyways, that's all for this post.
No artwork for now.

Until then:)

Official Declaration of Summer Vacation

2010-03-31T08:46:00.000-07:00

Today is our Recognition Day.

I’m in the 4th Place.

And since it’s recognition day…

SUMMER VACATION IS OFFICIALLY DECLARED!!!

XDD

This is gonna be fun:D

Well, there’s an addition to my ‘must learn/do’ list this summer.

And it’s Learning Japanese.

I have decided when I should do all of this.

And the Schedule will be effective next week, April 5.

I shall list again all of it.

Practice Guitar
Practice Drawing
Practice Coloring in Photoshop and/or Sai (or MyPaint)
Practice/Learn HTML/CSS
Learn Maya or 3D animation, modelling, etc.
Learn to Speak and Write Japanese

Practice Guitar – I want to learn more songs, and learn more in playing my guitar. Even if I’m just using an acoustic one, I will not let that be of a reason why I can’t play some of my favorite songs. And I want to prove to myself, and if possible, to others that I know how to play guitar and I have skills in playing it.

Practice Drawing – I am deeply inspired by the artists in deviant art whom did not take professional art courses or take arts in college and was able to draw artworks that was most likely believed to be possible if one took an art course. [haha, my explanation is soooo long! XD] In short, I want to draw like a pro [XD] without spending money or taking art courses like some famous deviants in DA. Even references are okay, they help, A LOT. As much as possible, I should practice at least 2 ½ or more hours.

Practice Digital Coloring – I just do not want to have my drawing colored traditionally. I want to try digitally, too. Doing so makes me have more advantages than disadvantages. My Advantages are that I will be able to erase mistakes in coloring, I won’t be spending any money for supplies (We have Photoshop CS4, Paint Tool Sai, MyPaint, MS Paint and Pixia for coloring. I can use Adobe Illustrator, too) and I will not be running out of supplies. I also have a Tablet too (Genius F610). My Disadvantage will be that I have a limited time, and that I will have to wait for my turn to color that Artwork.

Practice/Learn HTML/CSS – I have learned HTML now, and just need more practicing and trial to prove that I have succeeded. I am just about to learn CSS, though. But I think it is going to be an easy one. Learning both could help me build my own layouts, especially CSS. HTML could be used for website building. So that is somewhat less important. But I have studied HTML before and I should finish it. I kind of understand CSS, but I still need more studying and trying.

Learn Maya/ 3D animation, modelling, etc. – Maya is a 3D animating and Modelling Software of Autodesk. I want to learn it because I have a Youtube account and I don’t want it to be put into a waste. I made a Youtube account because I want to subscribe to a certain member there, and to Mike Inel, too. I want to fave somevideos too. Not just adding them to my Bookmarks ( I think I got more than a hundred bookmarks already..). I want to make games too. But 3D has nothing to do with that. I have to learn programming and I must start at the basics, or else I will get lost along the way.

Learn to Speak and Write Japanese – I know quite a few words and I know the greetings. But that’s all I know. That’s why I have to learn more. And I don’t want to ‘lose’ to my classmate who is learning Japanese,too. She’s my friend, but she seems to have more knowledge in Speaking Japanese. I usually get ‘nosebleeds’ when we chat[yup, we chat in Japanese, but it usually end up with some English words!].

Now onto something I REALLY wanted to share to you..

WE HAVE BOUGHT A PS3!!

IMSOHAPPYIMSOHAPPY!!!!!!!!!!

But we only have Soul Calibur IV for a game..

and the other games are so expensive...

P1,500+ (TT_TT)

and the PS3 does not support pirated Games...

To tell the truth, Final Fantasy is supposed to be our first game.

But it was Out of Stock.

And Dante's Inferno is too expensive...

Well, at least we will always have a P100 discount on games that we will buy in cash (I think).

And we can reserve games for free:)

We bought it in Datablitz, in SM North Edsa The Annex.

Oh, and Burgoo Bistro is great.

They have Tables with paper cover and you can write on it.

They have crayons in every table, too.

but I don't like their Oreo Cheesecake, it's okay in taste but I was expecting that its contents looks like leche flan...

...

Well, that's all for now.

I'll post an update about my progress in learning, too.

See yah. :D

A new manga~

2010-03-21T02:05:00.000-07:00

FINALLY! I have discovered a manga that interests me well!

It's called:

Are you Alice?

Yes, it is inspired by the famous Alice in Wonderland
The difference is that the protagonist is a male.
But its still good, for now.

Haven't read it until Chapter 5, not just yet.
'Cause I'm gonna play RO2 after I have read chapter 1.
The thing that I would hate about it is romance, if ever there is one.
But I think I'll enjoy it.

Plans for Summer.

YEAH! It's summer!
No classes..!!
BUT, I still have things to do, though:

Learn HTML/CSS
Learn 3D/2D animation ( or learn how to use Autodesk Maya or 3ds Max)
Practice more in drawing
Practice my guitars
Practice coloring in PS or Sai

....
That's all for now. See you:)

Excited!!!

2010-03-06T03:12:00.000-08:00

WAAHH!!!

I really want to post mah Akatsuki Halloween Fanfic!

Even though I'm not a fan of fanfics, I still write one for my own.
I craft my own fantasy, and everyone else does, too.

Though the Fanfic is supposed to be posted since last October, I forgot to post it.
And our old Laptop was destroyed.
So it took me time to save the file to my USB Falsh Disk.

Anyway, I'm sure I will be Posting it in my site and here too.
Real soon, I promise.
'Cause I'm really excited to share it to the world.

And the pic I will post in this entry is our group's DeuSCI logo.
The class is divided into 4 groups.
We all have the same name for the Magazine (DeuSCI)
But it's every group's creativity that will make their mag stand out.
Hope you like the Logo:)

That's all for now.
See ya.:)

meow.

2010-03-04T23:25:00.000-08:00

(Random Title)
I can't think of anything else.

Well, a few things that I think is worth sharing today.

Paramore has a concert here in th Philippine in March 9.
I want to go.
But I have classes the next day.
And the concert is at night:(

Onto next topic.

Still a few drawings left. I have to do it soon.
Before the end of the school year 2009-2010.
But I still have a few projects that needs to be done soon:

A.P. Project: Paper Mache.
I have no newspaper. And mom always forgets to buy an old one in the junk shops.

Math Project: Cartesian Plane
It'll be finished soon. So not a problem.

Science Project: Magazine
We all named it DeuSCI.
and I already have a logo in mind.
But the mag is not done yet, there are only articles:(
But I'll make it on time, I promise.

Anyway, I have came back at RateMyDrawings recently.
And I love their drawing application.
It's really great.

I wish I will be able to update my site (here) in webs.
I want to update the "stories" section for my friend.

That's all for now, I think.
Have a great time.:)

Solo~

2010-02-20T01:43:00.000-08:00

I have this computer for myself now~
My sisters have their JS Prom tonight.
And I'll be spending most of my time here.

I'll be playing Granado Espada
While waiting for the Ragnarok Online 2 download:)
I'm still searching for more MMORPGs

Well, this is just a short update, so I won't be putting artworks.

Enjoy:)

Update~

2010-02-12T01:51:00.000-08:00

Well, a late update.
I am supposed to update last Saturday, February 6.

Feb 5 was our modelling and it was ok.
I could barely find a reason of enjoying that moment.
In short, I don't like it.

I don't want to model again.
I feel really embarrased.
I didn't know I was lying to myself thinking it was all alright and turned out good.
...
GAH.
I should stop being so depressive about that.
It has already passed.

.....
NEXT UP!
Trivium Concert tomorrow February 13.
Here in MAKATI CITY, PHILIPPINES!!!!
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMG...
THIS is SO EXCITING!
but I can't come...
That's SAD.:(

*sigh*
Anyway, I just wish I could go......!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

----------------------------
next:

DAZ 3D software.
The samples are stunningly beautiful.
I'm downloading it now^^
I want to use it.
I'm so HAPPY.
And what's great other than that it is a great (as for me) 3D software?
IT'S FREE.

Website: Here!
-------------------------------
XD
happy:)

Regret~

2010-01-28T04:20:00.000-08:00

Chatted recently with my old friends...

and now I have thought about something...

I wish I wasn't a 'kill joy' or 'kj' back then.
And now here I am, lost in the desert of regret

..Trying to find a way or make a way in making up to them
I really regret being so a 'kj'
Especially to those that I've been mean to.
And I want to thank them about being so patient and forgiving...
.. and being so 'enduring' when it comes to my careless actions and decisions.

And why did I regret this?
It was our LAST YEAR TOGETHER.
It makes me feel like I want to scream my regret out or just silently cry my anger...
I feel like such and i**ot.
Such a shame.
:/

*sigh* I can't take back time.
So the best that I can do now is say 'Sorry'
...
I think I now have a new task:
I shall draw them something for valentines, and at the same time, say sorry.
and tell them the reason why.
I just have to get my requests done real soon.
So I can rest even for a bit.

That's all I can tell you for now..
see yah.:)
No art for now. You know the reason why.

argh...

2010-01-22T23:10:00.000-08:00

askgdasd;fjewirjew;jsdkfhl

Muscle pains.
In my arms.
Ouch.
Keeps aching every time I move my arm.
Aches when:
*I bend and lift my arm
*I lift my arms and try to make it straight
*Twist my arm to put my hand under soemthing
*When I stretch my arm
*When I try to flush our toilet using my thumb (our flush has two buttons: for 'lite' flushing and 'big' flushing and it's king of hard)
*when I straighten my arm
*When I lift my arm

Specifically, my biceps and triceps ache.
I think it's because of our field trip yesterday.
It's fun
And tiring.

Sorry if I can't tell you much of the details now..
I'm not sure where to start.

Oh, new list of art requests:
Dorothy (Kyouya, Sasori & Hani) On progress
Kenneth (Guy&Girl) Pending
Crisler (Dark Magician) Pending
Paul(pinapayong ng lalake ung babae, raining) Pending
C.A.(Guy&girl, sumtin' sweet) Pending
Yvana (Itachi & Sasuke) Pending
Ma'am Dai Pending
Christine Pending
Angela Pending

Well, I already have a concept on Josea's Request but I haven't ask her if that concept was okay.

Oh, and I have something to share..

Knite by Yuumei
It's really beautiful and awesome.
I really love her works.

And that's why I'm gonna practice Photoshop Now!:D
Or Sai;P

Anyway, that's all for now.
Have a nice day:)

Ooooh...

2010-01-18T05:07:00.000-08:00

I got a Tumblr account!:D
CLICKY!
It's called Chocolate Roses
(makes me feel hungry when thinking about chocolateXD)

Why? I love chocolates and mah current layout in my multiply (yes, Chocolate roses is born from my multiply account) has a rose is it so I called it "Chocolate roses."
Even if there is no roses, I would still name a few of my blogsites "Chocolate Roses"
Roses are my favorite flowers, too.

So... What about "Mirage of a Dream"? I will keep its name here, and nobody shall dare steal it>:(
IDK why I named this blogsite "Mirage of a Dream"...
But I think it's because I started this site at my depressive year/days...

Anyway, I now have this blogsite in mah wordpress(Here)
Quite a lot of sites, don't cha think?
All update as I update this site.
And I SWEAR I WILL NEVER ABANDON THIS BLOGSITE!
This has the biggest connection in my internet accounts.
And this makes it easier for me to update my blogsites at the same time without rewriting anything.
100%-LY convenient.

I never regret joining this site.
ILU Blogger ;)
(Oh, and no pictures for today. I'm using my mom's laptop)

Finished~

2010-01-14T02:24:00.000-08:00

(I'm updating quite often now!XD)

Finished art request from Kim:)

Pending Art requests:

Dorothy (Kyouya, Sasori & Hani)
Kenneth (Guy&Girl)
Crisler (Dark Magician)
Paul(pinapayong ng lalake ung babae, raining)
C.A.(Guy&girl, sumtin' sweet)
Yvana (Itachi & Sasuke)
Ma'am Dai

..That's all for now:)

Nostalgia~

2010-01-12T03:46:00.000-08:00

IDK if I should call it that, though orz...

I find this really interesting, and it made me remember something.
HERE!
It was still 2008, and it is when we had our GSP 'camping'(actually, we're just in the NPC Court)
Even though I hate kids, we were the one who won:)
And I'm happy.

So, to the story I'm going to tell you:

Since I am the leader, I'm the one who the kids usually tell their worry and woes.
It was 'nap time,' but actually, the rest is time
Then slowly, a girl stood up and to me it crawls
and said "Ate, my tooth fell and is missing!" I wondered if it's already a crime.

she continues "Mom told me that it was taken by a tooth fairy"
I was blank, and mutter 'oh'
And never cared because the problem is not mine to carry
If reality would ever hope so.

Dusk has come, and to home I must go.
If I can replay the entire show,
I must've said my answer to the girl.
Because there is an answer that inside me swirls.

But it was late, It's already night
And i have no intention to walk and tell what's right.
I sat on the bed, and cursed to myself
Because I've already abandoned the only thing that's left.

Care.

..
Sorry if I interpret it by poetry.
I was in the mood.:)
Short summary, because it's un-understandable:

(we have a school event back then)
She told me her tooth fell and was missing, and then she told me that her mom told her that when your tooth fell and is missing, it is taken by a Tooth Fairy.

I only said an 'oh'

then when I got home, I realized something.
And I wished I have thought of it earlier so I can tell the kid.

...

Well, that's it.
Oh, And I have a multiply account: zer0thir13En
I like it 'cause I can Import my Blogger account there (so I just have to write here and my account there will just update itself).
And it's convenient:)

Didn't update for a month! WOOH!!!

2009-12-28T00:54:00.000-08:00

Sorry for updating for waaayyyyyy too long...
<----So anyway, as promised, here's the NekoSasori pic

Then my Mokona bag(slideshow, thanks to Imageshack!):

Go to ImageShack® to Create your own Slideshow
..Oh, and belated Merry Christmas to all, too (even though it's kinda late) and advanced Happy New Year!
I might as well forget (or get lazy) in greeting you happy new year, so I shall do it in advance:)

Oh yah, GOOD NEWS!
Our tablet's working again! It has pen pressure and I can use Paint Tool SAI now!!!XD
I'm SO HAPPY!!!!

Well, anyway, It's great to have it work again.

So, onto my Christmas Presents(yay!)
I got...
Power of the Five: Nightrise by Anthony Horowitz
Death Note Cellphone Accessory(sp?)(L) ---------------------->
Death Note Notebook (:D)(Slideshow Again^^)

Go to ImageShack® to Create your own Slideshow

What I get in our Christmas Party? A MUG.
Science Club X-mas X-change? Diary (Mickey Mouse) and a Cellphone accessory (Piglet)

Next Topic:
GRANADO ESPADA
(Sword of the New World)
FINALLY! It has finished downloading(since December 19, started the download somewhere in October)
Even though it has a huge size, It's worth downloading. You can control up to three characters and make more in your family's Barracks.
Normally, Its slots only 9, but you can increase it by talking to one of the NPCs (dunno who, just someone).
The highest I got is my Musketeer, level 23. My family name is Mitoshi (I can't think of any other name, so I just came up with random syllables and there you have it).

..I think that's all..

... So yeah... That's all I can share for now.
See you soon!;)

Happy Birthday to ME!

2009-10-16T05:28:00.000-07:00

(An update for October 10)

I know birthday is just the day when you have completed a year of your life.
But in a way my birthday this year joins us together once more (me and my classmates when I was still in Grade 6)

ooh, this artwork (Itachi) is my present for my self. ======>>>
His message there is:
"Didn't I told you I have a surprise for you on your birthday?"
.. I don't like the way how it turned out. I prefer the sketched one.
.. I did not upload it in Deviantart, since it looks crappy.
.. Instead, I uploaded a Neko Sasori one (in which I'll post on the next or the next next post)
.. I like the way how the rose turned out (I just painted it, no reference or tutorials, though. I got pretty angry that time. 'Cause most of the tutorials said "roses are easy. They just twirl to the center" or something like that... yes it is true. But I do not know how. So I just paint it 'till I'm satisfied)

.. Oh yeah, the present I obtained is a Black Mokona Bag.
.It's pretty cute, though....
..And I lurvs it!
..I'll post the picture on my next post ('cause I always forget to picture it)
.
..
.I guess that's all.
.See yah..

FLOOOD!!

2009-09-27T05:32:00.000-07:00

wahh, I really feel like it's already Christmas today! (even though it's still September)

Well, we'll talk about that later. Let's talk about the post title.

I wasn't able to update this blog of mine yesterday because of the rain.
The Typhoon(Onyok), I mean.
It was really strong, and we have classes yesterday, as well.
There's flood, and the front of the school is flooded!
Some people outside the school campus even swims!
Some of my classmates/ the students are even saying 'Free swimming lessons!' or asking 'you want swimming lessons?' for a joke.
And, poor those tricycle users and motorcycles. Their vehicles got wet.

The water rose up for 3 feet, it even went through the gates.
Most of the students there were horrified, and some teachers are (the teachers are even wearing slippers).
One of my classmate's mother (C.A.'s mom) was crying, or so she said.
Some students (base on my observation), are calling their parents for some reason (checking them up or telling them that they're going home. We were dismissed early that time. Around 11AM)
We're waiting inside the campus, some said that maybe we'll be staying 'till the afternoon, or worse, at night.

But eventually, there was something opened outside [the campus], and the flood was drained to that place.

When I got home, to my unfortunation, I caught a cold.
Before that, I always sneeze at school, and I'm pretty irritated about that.
There are a LOT of black outs.
But at least I have something to do (like drawing).

So yeah, I'll be finishing this now, since I have to do something.
I'll talk more about the 'Christmas feeling' next time.
See yah.

p.s.: I love Itachi's smile on my artwork in this post...! He looks so Kawaii!!!

Supernatural...

2009-09-25T04:32:00.000-07:00

Yes, this has something t do withe the supernatural.
This happened a while ago.

It was our English time and we were writing lectures, but our teacher is sitting on the teacher's chair.
Then we all smelled a burning candle.
It was not coming from outside, my classmates checked.
And then Ma'am Dai (English teacher) checked outside too.
Then she said that it was only in our part, in the First Year Deuteronomy's room, our room.
But before she checked outside, she told us that we are the only ones in the 3rd floor.

All of them feel cold...
Except from me (or so I think).
I feel something hot on the left side of my face, but I'm not sweating.
I was even wondering why do they feel so cold while I do not.

On the end of classes(dismissal), I realized that it was like the candle was beside me..
And it was the time that I have known what happened to a friend of mine, there (Dorothy).

She said the he felt a guy's (she knew it was a guy because of the rough texture) hands holding the right side of her face.
Then she felt two hands (she didn't say if it was a guy or a girl) holding both sides of her cheek.
When it was already luch time, she saw girl's face. But when she looked around, nobody saw it.

But in a way she never told the people with her, not even the ones around.

I wonder what will happen tomorrow...?
...

Next topic.
The damned water pipe repairs prevents us from crossing.
We were being ridden to our homes (via school service). Then there we saw an excavation. a deep excavation for fixing the water pipes.
And, the only way through is the narrow way that is almost covered by the soft soil.
And my thoughts keep on thinking 'What if I fall? What if I slipped down to that depths and find it hard to get back to the surface, even though there are workers around?'
What can I say? I'm a pessimist.
But then, good thing I have my earphones on.
And music keeps my mind from thinking more negative things and keeping my heart by beating too fast, like I'm hyperventilating.
The song playing was '4 Words to Choke Upon' by Bullet for my Valentine.
Its loud music built a wall that compressed my heart and keeps it from beating, but I feel like it's making my chest tight, keeping my heart from beating too loud and too fast.

It's my savior, and will be my 'song of the day.'

That's all I can say for now. I'll see ya again.
P.S.: Sorry if there's no artwork, I'm using my mom's Laptop, and I do not have artworks here.

Haven't been updating for a while...

2009-09-19T00:49:00.000-07:00

Hey, I haven't been updating for more than a week... Sorry... 'cause I can't find anything or think of anything to talk about...

Well, I find this site interesting: Videocopilot
It's pretty much about Adobe After Effects CS3, and they even have a basic training.

This video is the audition for the actors/actresses and stunts for the upcoming Marian School Of Quezon City Movie: Tenacious. I'm pretty much excited about that movie. It'll be released on February 2010.
I'll show you the final/ the whole movie when it's released.
I'm planning on putting it on my own website, too.

Oh, it's rouz-danna'birthday today, Happy Birthday, Rouzelle!
..

Well, nothing much to say now, and I'll be playing Flyff, so...

I'll see ya soon

Updates

2009-09-07T00:58:00.000-07:00

Hey, haven't told you about Lily, haven't I?
Check out her works here: Lily
She's really awesome.

A new band to love: Bullet For My Valentine.
Their Songs are awesome (Official Site Here)

And, I've got a LOT of inspiration in arts from deviantArt.
I'm too lazy to name them all, sorry..

Oh, back to the Bullet For My Valentine.
I love their song "Tears don't Fall", especially in these parts of the lyrics:
"Would she Hear me, if I call her name?
Would she hold me, If she knew my shame?...
...Tears don't Fall, they crash around me..."

I love those parts, so much.
And, I was planning on using that band for Hidan's..

Oh yeah, I haven't told you about that.
I have plans about the Akatsuki bands, with minimum 4 members and maximum 5 members.
I included my OC with the band(Hikane).
Hikane's band name is: Red Roses In Black Thorns.
I'm not sure if the name sounds beautiful for you, though. But for me, It is.
The members are:
1. Hikane Shihaki (Vocals/Guitars)
2. Itachi Uchiha (Guitars/Vocals/Piano)
3. Hidan (Bass/Drums/Vocals)
4. Sasori (Drums/Guitars/Vocals)
5. Konan (Piano/Bass/Vocals)

Each member has a role of 'vocals,' since all of them are free to sing.
Their Official role is listed first.
The main reason why I gave them at least three roles because the lead vocals won't be using any instruments, meaning they will be pretty 'naughty' or 'moving too much' while singing. And, each member will be Lead Vocals, but only in their corresponding band songs. Here are the assigned bands(to prevent further confusion):

Hikane: The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus/Paramore
Itachi: The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
Hidan: Bullet For My Valentine(and RJA's You Better Pray)
Sasori: The Used (and RJA's Your Guardian Angel)
Konan: Paramore

Get it already? Example, when the song will be Face Down(RJA), the lead vocals will either be Hikane or Itachi. But most Likely it will be Itachi since it has Screams. Some scream songs of RJA will be sang by Hikane(specifically Waiting and Atrophy), but most will be to Itachi.

.. Okay that's it. Probably you can understand it be now.
oh, I almost forgot. Sasori, Itachi and Hidan are for Scream songs, and not. Depending on their band.

See ya soon.

P.S.: Itachi, Sasori and Hidan showed in my dream when I thought about building a band(w/ my OC), and I think I told myself 'whoever gets in my dream will be okay'. Then Each showed up in each day (ex: Itachi - Monday, Hidan - Tuesday, Sasori - Wednesday). That's why.
P.P.S: I included Konan 'cause it seems fun, and I don't have any pianist in the band. But Nikari and Miyami has their own(themselves).

*Nikaris Mihatsu and Miyami Araki are the OC of my two Friends.
**I DO NOT make an OC that joined akatsuki with a story of romance. Cause I HATE ROMANCE! I don't even know why people love it!

Plans and Projects.

2009-09-02T04:49:00.000-07:00

Well, I haven't been telling you my projects, haven't I?
No, It is not a school project or anything. It's an art project.
What about it? It's gonna be a big one.
I'll be making this quick so let's get this over with.

Project:

Uchiha Itachi Project

15 Beautiful Artworks
Poetic Tragedy AMV

Sasori no Akasuna [Sun Comes Up] Project

10 Beautiful Artworks
Sun Comes Up AMV

... It will be hard making those "Beautiful Artworks," 'cause I have to make it perfect, traditional or digital. But is Digitally Colored. And the AMV isn't like those things that you know. I'll be making my own, not using those in the episodes (that's lame), and I'll be using the whole song. I'll be using Adobe After Effects CS3, though. And I'll be starting with Sasori, since I have to practice perspective more (The Uchiha Itachi Project requires quite a lot of perspectives).

So that's it for tonight.

P.S: The Sasori Project came up to me just this morning at 3AM, I wasn't been able to sleep after waking up, and the son "Sun Comes Up" came to my mind. And as I try to remember the lyrics, my mind thought of this idea.
* In actuality, Sasori should only have the Sun Comes Up AMV, but I decided it will be awesome if I will make at least 10 Artworks.
*** Sun Comes Up and Poetic Tragedy belong to The Used
*** Sasori and Itachi (c) Masashi Kishimoto

Lurvs.

2009-08-31T00:07:00.000-07:00

Haha, I lurvs mah new layout here on blogger!

I found it somewhere... Here.
It's "Notebook"

I even lurvs teh new "Blogger in Draft"

....

Wut? Yah askin' wah I ish typin' leik dis?

I ish pretty lazy but I want to update.

There, Better?
So anyway, I was planning on making my own blogger layout so yah.

Oh yeah, I now LOVE Bullet for My Valentine.
Their songs are awesome.

I love this book called "Raven's Gate"
And I finished it for 4 days (Weee! :D)
I want to buy the book two, "Evil Star". And the Rest of the series.
But I have to wait 'till we get to "Fully Booked".

I never even thought that it's pretty awesome updating here.
See ya around.

2009-08-30T01:06:00.000-07:00

Hey guys, quite a few updates.

I was thinking of using this as my art blog for some reason.
I will be posing here my artworks, crappy or not. So as long as I have an artwork to publish every update.

I just realized that you can still do digital painting even without using a tablet. I was lazy and I tried using a NORMAL mouse, not optical or anything. Then it was easier, except for the smaller parts. I'm pretty lazy changing the brush, so i just shrugged it off.

It was fun doing that. I'm even doing it now.

{Image}

(The skin was done with tablet, clothes aren't)
Pretty sloppy, no?
Oh crap... I just realized that the color that I used to color naruto's skin wasn't a skin color... IT"S A HAIR COLOR!!O.O
No wonder it seems like the color's pretty much the same to each other... Oh well, It's good, anyway.
The confusion was there because I have 3 open palette sets (and no, I don't want to remove any of the 3), The PS Default, Skin colours and Hair colours.

That's it for now.
I'll update if there's anything else in my mind :3

CREDITS: NarutoxSE Lineart by Reppu
The used - Yesterday's Feelings
----------------

Now playing: The Used - Yesterday's Feelings
via FoxyTunes

Update after a LOOOOOng while..

2009-08-20T02:26:00.000-07:00

Wow, I got pretty lazy, didn't I? It took months before I could update this now. Curse my laziness... Yah, Laziness is poison. So it's bad if you have that. But I can't help it, it's my normal attitude..!

Nothing much happened, though... but here are some few updates....

I LOVE MUSIC!

I love The Used!
I love The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus!
I love Paramore!
I love Greenday's "21 Guns"!
I'm checking out: Slipknot, Linkin Park and Nine Inch Nails

SCHOOL TIME!

Classes started since June 10
I'm no longer studying in Acelina Montessori School(I miss you guys!)
I'm studying at Marian School Of Quezon City
I never thought there are people in there who knows "The Used"
Book Fair for the whole week next week! (Aug. 24 - 28) YAY!

INTERNET!

I love Booty Grab of Gaia Online! It's making me rich!
I own a 9,000+ gold kimono in Gaia Online!
I'm back with Angels Online!
I love DA tutorials!
I'm a member of The Used's site!

SELF, HOBBIES, ETC.!

I love art!
I love to color using my colored pencils! (Faber Castell)
I have improved in my art!
I have improved my poetry!
I realized almost half the truth in this world!
I stopped lying to myself! But it's still alive!
I have encouraged myself to update this blog every week! punish me if I can't!
I HAVE to update my site...!
I have to practice digital coloring...

........................

I think that's all iu have to say for now...

Until then.

Worst but Best

2009-02-12T20:37:00.000-08:00

Supposed to be that I'm going to update this coming sunday but there's soemthing happened to me that I enjoy yesterday. But first, Let's start from sunday, shall we?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

├Sunday♥

Nothing much happened. It's when I Last updated this blog.

├Monday♥

I have installed Ran Graveyard in this day. But I have not yet played this game.

├Tuesday♥

I played Ran graveyard this day, and the start of practice for the Singing contest. In Ran Graveyard, There have been quite some problems so it took me time to level up.

├Wednesday♥

Practice, Practice and more Practice! I practice for more in this day, and the start of the foundation day. Cheering of the Lower grades (Grade 4 below) and their fun fest.

├Thursday♥

This was the worst but [one] of the best days of my life. Worst? I suck at singing and I knew I won't win, and we bought the camp rock CD at P450+... We wasted money. Best? because I met good friends in Ran Online, The other one, I think it was Experimento who fights me, we just dueled. And I lost, but he gave me clothes for my shaman. Then when I was fighting an Onslaught (Found in the sports field of Sacred Gate. Sacred Gate is My School in Ran Graveyard, so as in the Original Ran Online), TrowWar helped me, Even though I don't need any help. He even gave me to powerful spears, and thanks to him, I'm able to reach level 98. There are mor who helped me, and I really appreciate it that I met them.

├Friday♥

Last day of the Foundation day: The Coronation Night. Candidates of Mr. and Ms. Acelina Montessori School will dance (in partners, by grade/year and section). It will start later at 6pm, and Fall Out Boy's Concert will start later at 8pm, in Araneta Colesium. Unlucky for me, we don't have tickets... I think it's today when Typecast and Chicosci will have a concert at SM North Edsa, that's what my friend(Carmela) Told me.

├Saturday♥

Who knows what will happen tomorrow?☻

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And that's it. See you again.

Update

2009-02-07T23:06:00.000-08:00

Hello, It's been a while since I've updated this blog.

Starting now, I will update this blog every week or every Sunday.
I'll be giving myself some time to tell something about the days that passed.

So let's start.

I made a website of my own but it is not finished yet:

Here is the link of the website.
I will make it better in the future.

Moving on...

DeviantArt.
I have made some artworks and that I'll make more in the future.
This is my deviantArt account, feel free to browse through.

By The Way, I'm not a famous deviant yet, so yeah....

Next:

Ran Online and Flyff

Both are great games, I got so hook up I don't mind if I don't complete my assignments.

......

I'm planning on checking out Ragnarok Online II, and, I've got more goals to finish.
So yeah, This will be the end..

Later.

... Friendship...???

2008-12-18T20:38:00.000-08:00

.....

They look happy, don't they..?

They took it yesterday(Dec. 18).... They went to SM Norh Edsa that time.....

It was their most memorable time together....

. . . . . . . . .

But not "our". . . .
......

Indeed, they were my friends.... but they never invite me to those....

Even though they've known that I'm not allowed to go to places like that with my friends,
Why don't they try to ask? They never know if I will be allowed, even in some way...

And worse....

Even though I have friends that I've been with for a long time....

None of them greet me a "happy frienship anniversary"...

I heard one of my friend say it to her friend in which is my friend too...

We've been friends for a year.....

But she never greets me like that....

I just wish, I don't have feelings anymore....
Feelings are nothing but worthless things....

Dreams

2008-11-11T03:35:00.000-08:00

"Sometimes, A Dream stays a dream..."

This simple quote makes a great sense in my life.

It's filled with the hopes that turns out to nothing....

My dreams that doesn't come true....
No matter how hard I try....

My hopes were too high, but in the end..

It's no use

That's when the time I learned that I should never hope anymore...

But what I hate is that it keeps coming to me...

I guess I just have to get through with it....

The Past...

2008-09-03T05:29:00.000-07:00

I can still remember my past back then...

When I cry, there's someone who's there to comfort me...
When I'm sad, there's someone to cheer me up...
When I have problems, someone's there to help me....

But now, Everything has change...

When I cry, nobody's there to comfort me...
When I'm sad, they just, let me be.
When I have problems, they add some more....

.....

Everything has changed....
Everyone sees me like a shadow hiding in darkness...

Nobody minds if I cut myself (usually on my thumb)...
Except for her... She's scared... she said that "Stop it!.. You're scaring me..." Then I asked here why then she said "''cause it seems like you don't mind if you kill yourself..."...

I don't know why she said that.... I think.. she cares for me... Then I should care back, for her...

Most hated...

2008-08-02T06:29:00.000-07:00

That's what I hate the most... "All the hard work for nothing"... The usual thing that happens to me... Specially when I'm using the Computer.... s***.... You know why? It's because a while ago I was making a theme for my cellphone then my mom use the computer then, click the f****** search button and POOF!... GONE.... And the last time, I was making another theme for my cellphone(Tobi in design) then my father did something and the computer shut down(no, he didn't remove the plug for the computer).. Then there it goes.. That's what I hate... At times, I can NEVER say that there isn't any day that I can't say "I work hard for that and it's just for NOTHING!??!HUH!???"..... *sigh*... Now, I remember... A time when I lend one of my clear books (I have two), my hard worked drawing got wet and nothing is left.... I worked hard for that.. But one , Luck strikes once... I've scanned my hard worked(It took me TEN HOURS to finish it!) before my classmate's sketch pad got lost...
I think... That's all for now.... Later..

P.S.: "Later" means "See you next time" or "Good bye" in my blogs or whatever...
P.P.S.: Here's the drawing I'm Telling you about... The Scanned one: http://img257.imageshack.us/img257/8950/scan0001ry1.jpg